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My Husband Wants a Bikini Model

Last Updated: April 10, 2015

Luke Gilkerson
Luke Gilkerson

Luke Gilkerson has a BA in Philosophy and Religious Studies and an MA in Religion. He is the author of Your Brain on Porn and The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality. Luke and his wife Trisha blog at IntoxicatedOnLife.com

Former swimsuit model Elin Nordegren has reportedly avoided the limelight, despite the fact that she is married to the Athlete of the Decade, Tiger Woods. But with recent discoveries of Tiger’s multiple affairs, Elin couldn’t be grabbing more media attention.

It is saddening when we hear of shattered marriages and shattered homes, but for some the celebrity gossip brings to mind other questions for us. Elin Nordegren is, by our cultural standards, a beautiful woman. Some would ask Tiger why he would seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere having married a woman like her?

The very question shows our culture’s premium placed on physical beauty, or at least certain physical standards. We receive hundreds of emails and comments from men who confess their habitual use of pornography, how countless hours of staring at pixilated sex has molded their conception of beauty.

We’ve also heard from hundreds of women who wonder why they are not enough for their porn-viewing husbands. We hear, “I’ll never measure up to porn standards.” This drives some women to reach for physical standards only attainable by anorexia, breast-enhancement, and photographic airbrushing. For others this only leads to despair and giving up on the hope of intimacy with their husbands.

But Elin’s sad story should be instructive to frustrated wives everywhere. Becoming a Swedish bikini model is not the solution to your husband’s porn problem.

Of course, it is commendable to take care of our bodies. It only makes sense that we want to be attractive to our spouses. It only makes sense that we should seek sexual satisfaction in marriage. But becoming your husband’s unrealistic dream girl does not cure a deeply-rooted fixation on pornography.

For more resources and information about this, visit our link for struggling wives.

  • Comments on: My Husband Wants a Bikini Model
    1. Absolutely. No one becomes satisfied by receiving everything. We only become satisfied by choosing it… and cultivating it. No, matter how cliche it is, satisfaction doesn’t come from getting what we want – it comes from wanting what we get.

      -Marshall Jones Jr.

    2. I have nothing against these ‘supermodel’ women in concept, but the more my life has been set free from porn/immorality, the more I’ve realized just how fake that “beauty” really is.

      Any woman can go under the knife, wear certain clothing or put on makeup and appear extremely attractive. When you have the inner beauty of the love of Christ within however, that inevitably filters to the outside. This doesn’t mean that redeemed women are transformed into models, but the beauty of Christ is eternal, mortal is NOT. One matters, the other doesn’t

      To be blunt, I think that modest Christian females who take good care of themselves are far more appealing than these brushed up ladies. Models are dressed specifically ‘to’ attract, rather than to just ‘be’ attractive, which is why they’re so often lusted after. This is night and day, and I far more appreciate this in the Christian women that I’m drawn to in my own church, whether they realize it or not.

      If nothing else, it bothers me greatly that society perceives these women as a better, ‘steamier’ sexual experience just because their bodies are in “a whole ‘nother league”. Well, as Mr. Woods has sadly demonstrated, you can be married to the most beautiful woman in the world and still fall prey to the objects of lust. Proverbs 27:20 describes this well, “Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied, and never satisfied are the eyes of man.”

      Sex is God’s precious gift to the undefiled marriage bed, not an object for men to play around with as they please. But as brother Gary describe in that podcast snippet last week, pursuing the pure pleasure that God is well-pleased with and glorified by is a small part of our fulfillment. I can’t speak from experience, but I believe the God of Truth.

      • @Justin – Right on. I think we see this in the life of King Solomon most clearly:

        “Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the LORD had said to the people of Israel, ‘You shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you, for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods.’ Solomon clung to these in love. He had 700 wives, princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart. For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.” (1 Kings 11:1-4)

        Here’s Solomon: more spiritually influential than the pope, richer than Bill Gates, and a harem bigger than Hugh Hefner’s. Solomon was married to the love of his life (as expressed in the Song of Solomon) yet he craved the variety of forbidden women from all areas of the world.

    3. Mark Pearson

      Let me make one thing clear to all who read this. Like everything else I’ve said, there may be some controversy over all this.

      The Song of Solomon is Bible porn. Solomon is the classic example of someone who should be spending every waking hour praising God, yet here he is, writing about all his concubines. Do not find yourself with Solomon Syndrome. It will cause your heart and mind to rot.

      • Luke Gilkerson

        @Mark – “Bible porn?” I’m really not sure what you mean. Of course the whole poem is charged with romance and erotic language, but the story details Solomon’s love for one of his wives, not a concubine (see the wedding ceremony in chapter 3). Now, I agree Song of Solomon is filled with sexual language, like many other passages in the Bible, but how does qualify as pornography?

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