4 minute read

The Beginning of My Freedom Journey from Pornography

Last Updated: August 19, 2015

Luke Gilkerson
Luke Gilkerson

Luke Gilkerson has a BA in Philosophy and Religious Studies and an MA in Religion. He is the author of Your Brain on Porn and The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality. Luke and his wife Trisha blog at IntoxicatedOnLife.com

Thanks to Lance for his candor and honesty. Thanks also to Freedom Begins Here for putting this video together for us. We’re grateful for the work you do.

A lot of people do not want to take the step Lance did—getting accountability software on their computers and other devices. For some, that’s too radical a step to take.

But for others accountability software makes all the sense in the world.

10 Reasons People Love Internet Accountability

1. It’s a Constant Reminder to Think Twice Before Clicking

When you know others will receive an e-mailed report of every questionable place you go online, it makes you think twice about your decisions.

“It’s just another helpful barrier between me and my flesh, to help me make good decisions.”Marvin Campbell

2. It Catches Small Sins Before They Become Big Ones

When you know you’ll be held accountable for the “grey areas” online—not just the blatantly hardcore stuff—you stop to question your choices. This stops small problems before they turn into big ones.

“There’s no opportunity for sin to build up.”Pastor Dan Deyling

“It helps not just avoid potential bad sites but maybe more grey-area sites I know I shouldn’t be looking at.”Brandon

3. It’s a Constant Check on Your Pride

If we trust our resolve so much that we allow secret corners where sin might thrive, this is pride that comes before the fall. Wisdom knows: when you’re at your best, plan for your worst.

“I do not trust myself enough to try to do my Christianity on an island.”Trip Lee

4. There’s No Opportunity to Be Dishonest

When you feel ashamed of yourself, its hard to make the choice to be brutally honest with someone else. But what if you only had to make the choice once? When you make the firm choice for someone to get a regular, detailed log of your Internet history, you take away the biggest hurdles to routine accountability: your propensity to dodge questions, defend your actions, deceive your friends, or dress up your sin.

“The bad thing about accountability groups is you have to choose to bring someone else in. The great thing about Covenant Eyes is you choose once and then you have to deal with that choice.”Fr. Mike Schmitz

“This takes it [accountability] to another level…There’s no opportunity for me to be dishonest.”Trip Lee

5. It Makes Quitting Porn So Much Easier

When porn has a strong grip on your heart, you need to change your previously unquestioned habits that are feeding the addiction. Isolation is one of those habits. When you sign up for Covenant Eyes, you bring others into your recovery to help you.

“Sounds crazy, right? Total invasion of my privacy. But it’s an awesome tool…I wish I would have found out about it along time ago. It would have made that starting phase much easier.”Joseph Solomon

6. It’s an Opportunity to Demonstrate Your Integrity

Allowing others to hold you accountable is not always the mark of a demonstrative moral failure. It is a mark of integrity—a mark that you care more about your character than your unmonitored Internet time.

“I even tell girls, ‘If you want to go out with that guy, ask him if he thinks you’re worth eight bucks a month.’ If he says, ‘Yeah,’ then tell him to put Covenant Eyes on his computer.”Pastor Dan Deyling

7. It Kills the Strength of Temptation

One of the reasons why the temptation to look at porn is so strong is we are able to convince ourselves our choices impact no one but us. But when we know others will know about our sin, we force ourselves to remember that our sins impact our relationships.

Covenant Eyes “takes a sin that thrives in secret and brings it into the light.”Pastor Dan Deyling

8. It’s a Vehicle to Receive Love from Others

When others know the specifics of your temptations and sin patterns, they can more easily care for, pray for, and counsel you through the changes you long to make.

Using Covenant Eyes is “an act of love from brother to brother” – D.A. Carson

9. It Builds and Rebuilds Trust in a Marriage

Whether you struggle with porn or your don’t, using Internet accountability is a way to show your spouse your life is an open book. It says to your spouse, “I don’t want there to be secrets between us.” This builds trust, and it rebuilds trust if trust has been lost.

“In marriage it’s really strengthened our trust—just allowed our lives to be open books.”Amy

“It provided the help that we needed and the resource we needed to rebuild the trust in our relationship.”Veronica

10. It Reminds You God is Watching

When we live a community of friends that know us well, who have the freedom to ask us the hard questions, we have a constant reminder that God is watching us. God-centered friends are one of God’s given means to help us remember to live for Him.

It reminds me “that isn’t not just God looking at me but another brother or sister in Christ—which reminds me that God is looking at me.”Brandon

Learn more about Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability

  • Comments on: The Beginning of My Freedom Journey from Pornography
    1. All of these benefits are true, and I would say that the primary focus really should be #10: Remind yourself that God is always watching. Having accountability partners that I respect watching me, praying for me, and desiring the best for me has been a boon. But I’ve found (as the writers on this blog have counseled) that when accountability is flimsy and you slip through the cracks, you need to teach yourself to practice the presence of God and be directly accountable to Him. No one can stop the constant library of images in your head, nor can they stop you from masturbating. This is where my battle is now, and it’s where I am working to understand how I glorify God more when I am victorious, not just to serve my own desire to be free from these denigrating and destructive practices. All flesh aside, the buck stops with your relationship directly with God. That said, person-to-person accountability is a great place to start, especially when your world is being rocked and you need to start your journey to re-focus on God.

      • I just wanted to say that I really, really appreciate your ministry. It is a great joy to read every new article.

        I’ve started a blog where I am re-hashing some of the things that I’m learning. Though I’m not nearly the scholar of the likes of Luke, I hope to return to theological roots embedded in love, the simple obedience to the word that I learned as a young Christian, not just the systems of reformed theology that I prided myself on learning. All the knowledge in the world is “meaningless” without God being the rudder, the ship, the sail, the wind, and the captain of the ship. Only He can navigate us through the storms of this life. Anyways, I learn best cognitively when I re-hash things. I think that’s why everyone recommends journaling, and that scholastic approach is my method of madness.

        But, God bless you for the time that you spend supporting the broken hearted and the ones that have broken them. I hope to shake your hand and give you a big hug, if not in this lifetime, then in the next.

      • I’m no scholar, but thank you for the encouragement. In all of your comments you show yourself to be a real student of the Word.

      • It is a great place to start…and a great place to stay. It is a great means to maintain the kind of focus you’re talking about.

    2. Amanda

      For me and my husband this 40 day challenge has been life-changing. We have had Covenant Eyes accountabily for 3 years now and really found through this challenge that yes, it worked but only half-heartedly. It was only when we started this challenge that it became a “light-bulb” moment. There was more to it (accountability) than we realized. So each day something has unfolded that finally we can say, “yes” this is what accountability is really all about. So I recommend to anyone out there that yes, you get the Covenant Eyes accountability but then follow it up with this challenge and the wonderful blogs that are suggested. I thought I understood the accountability thing but now I see that I had it all wrong. So thank you, Covenant Eyes for your ministry to me and my husband.

      • Kay Bruner

        Thanks, Amanda. I’m glad the 40 Day Challenge has been so helpful to you both!

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