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How Porn Cripples a Marriage – Interview with Michael Smalley

Last Updated: February 21, 2014

Luke Gilkerson
Luke Gilkerson

Luke Gilkerson has a BA in Philosophy and Religious Studies and an MA in Religion. He is the author of Coming Clean: Overcoming Lust Through Biblical Accountability and The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality. Luke and his wife Trisha blog at IntoxicatedOnLife.com

Covenant Eyes Podcast – Episode 18

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michael-smalley-2Today on the Covenant Eyes podcast I will be interviewing relationship expert Michael Smalley. Through their books and seminars, Michael and his wife Amy have been teaching couples for years about the principles that make healthy marriages.

Today Michael will talk to couples who are struggling with pornography problems in their marriage. Michael will speak specifically to wives who are are suffering from feelings of inadequacy due to their husband’s porn use. Michael will also address men about how porn inhibits them from emotionally connecting with their wives. Lastly, Michael will talk about how a couple can spiritually grow their marriage.

Listen also to Part 1 (should couples watching pornography together), and Part 3 (single men and pornography).
  • Comments on: How Porn Cripples a Marriage – Interview with Michael Smalley
    1. Casey Allison on

      I was very pleased to come across this site. As a wife of a man who struggled with porn, I am looking to help so many of our friends in their marriages as they grapple with this issue. In trying to create a list of resources for our website to help couples, I wanted to add this site. I listened to this particular podcasts. I was so disappointed to hear the laughter when you talked about wives being furious and feeling like their husbands had committed adultery. I fundamentally disagree with your position. However, the laughter was so hurtful even to me who is not going through the difficulties now that I could never encourage a woman who has found out her husband is looking at pornography to listen to this talk. In saying not to judge the husband for his actions, it feels as though you judge the wife for hers – her hurt and anger over being betrayed. I hope in the future you can be more gentle and understanding of women going through this and also to those who interpret the Bible differently.

      Reply
    2. Melissa on

      I agree with a lot of what the first commenter said. You are actually laughing about a woman finding porn, for the FIRST time. It shows a lack of understanding on what porn actually does to a woman. As if “Wow, women who get upset and believe it is their fault is ridiculous.” I believe it is a process. I am now dealing with the nth time of finding more porn. I can now handle it better and be more understainding of my husband and be supportive but Firm, but I could never do that for the first time or fir the 2nd or 3rd. You are making it sound like it is our fault if we cannot react right. Shame on you for not adding a note to this to show you diagree with some of what was said or portrayed. I have found much healing going through your website. This was the last thing I was viewing today and now I am more discouraged. Very, very disappointed. I could listen to what he is saying better if he had not given that firt example and laughed. Smalley’s arrogant attitude shows no compassion for the wives. You shouod post this so husbands can use these words against their wives when they are dealing with this. This is what is sounds like to me.

      Reply
    3. Luke Gilkerson on

      Melissa,

      Thank you for your comment. I am so sorry our podcast (meant to encourage) has discouraged you.

      I’ve gone back to edit this podcast to remove portions that might be insensitive. The problem is not with the speaker but with my poor editing. This is part of a much larger phone conversation and I realize now that taking these sound bites from the whole conversation makes Michael come off insensitive to women in certain places. I can assure you such is not the case. Michael and his wife Amy have helped hundreds of marriages. The fault is in my editing. Please accept my apology.

      If you want, you can go back and listen to the podcast again. If you notice any problems with the new audio, please let me know.

      Reply
    4. Bring Back A Lost Love on

      Investigating the causes of marriage failure? This post is pure quality. It clearly is in the top tier of blogs I have visited on the Net to get you an answer as to having a good marriage. It’s given me lots of ideas on how to get ex girlfriend back from another guy, also. Very much appreciated for providing this resource! I’ll be back on the next installment!

      Reply

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