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Godly UNmarried Sexuality (Part 2) – Christ’s provision in temptation

Last Updated: May 18, 2021

Ellen Dykas

Ellen Dykas is the Women’s Ministry Coordinator at Harvest USA in Philadelphia. She has a MA in Biblical Studies from Covenant Theological Seminary, and a Graduate Certificate in Biblical Counseling through the Christian Counseling & Education Foundation (CCEF). Ellen’s focus at Harvest is on discipleship with women who are struggling with sexual and relational sins in their own lives, as well as women who are impacted by the sexual sins of their spouses or others.

The previous post on ‘godly UNmarried sexuality’ discussed how God’s plan and design for our sexuality is so much better than taking things into our own hands . . . including the use of pornography to deal with our needy hearts. When our hearts feel like deep caverns of longing and desire for relationship, intimacy, and sexual expression, how does Christ provide for us?

Most of all, Christ provides us with Himself! Steps, plans, and strategies for fighting porn addiction all have their place. However, until we believe and begin to live in the reality that Christ IS the path to freedom, that He, in His person, is what our hearts are truly longing for, we will most likely continue in a frustrated and captive state.

If you’re unmarried and wrestling to let go of porn because it has become your chosen banquet table of heart-satisfaction, you’re believing a lie. You’ve become the person of Isaiah 44:20: “He feeds on ashes, a deluded heart misleads him; he cannot save himself or say, ‘Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?’” Please take a few minutes to consider several rich truths that we find at the True banquet table which is Christ Himself.

What is ours in HIM?

Kindness: Christ leads us to Himself through kindness

Romans 2:4 challenges us when we show contempt for the riches of His grace but it also woos us to realize that it is His kindness that leads us to repentance. Repentance is a returning to Him when we’ve ‘eaten of the world’ (including porn) in an attempt to sate our soul-hunger. Jesus does not come to you as a porn addicted person with belt or ruler and whack you into obedience. No . . . it is kindness flowing from the throne of grace, from His heart, that is offered to you.

A loving and freeing reign: Christ is a kind King

Jesus comes to us in our prisons, proclaims freedom over us, and we experience freedom as we submit to His holy reign over our lives. This means we let go of our own ‘thrones’ of life management, including the ways we deal with our desires and soul-pain. This means we engage Him in a lifestyle of relational servanthood, as Mary models for us in Luke 1:38:

“I am the Lord’s servant . . . ” (handmaiden or female ‘bondservant,’ one who is consumed with the will of the Master, and Paul uses this same word to describe himself: ‘bondservant’ of the Lord’). Mary spoke these amazingly trusting and submissive words after receiving the “commission” to bear the Son of God! Christ as Loving King will enable you to respond in your season of singleness (and purity!) with these same words. May it be to me as YOU say Lord.

Escape paths: Christ provides a way out of every temptation

1 Cor. 10:13 is hope for us! The promise given is that the way OUT of every temptation is ours through (and in) Christ: temptations such as turning inward in self-pity; clicking on that website again; sexual self-gratification; dependence on others for our happiness, becoming angry or embittered over singleness into our late 20s or 30s . . . what is your temptation? This is not what we signed up for.

His ways of escape will be specific to your need and situation, not some ‘generalized’ STOP IT or GET OVER IT. Remember, Christ is a loving King, and He is a specific Savior in that He knows us in detail; He comes to us in our  temptations with relationship first and offers us a tailor-made escape, because in His relationship with us, He truly knows us. He provides Himself as Bread of Life and Fountain of Living Water for our hungry and thirsty souls. Every escape path to which He leads us begins with turning away from the tables we have set, and turning toward the lifestyle of feasting upon Him!

Kingdom calling: Christ has purposes for us on this earth

As our King, and as a King with a kingdom (see Matt. 6:33 and Col. 1:10-14), He has purposes for each of us as kingdom citizens. For the Christian, pornography addiction  (and any entangling sin) is a kingdom issue because whenever/however/wherever a sin has dominion over us, we are NOT walking in the good works that Christ has lovingly prepared for us (Eph. 2:10). This is hugely significant as we consider that our obedience (and disobedience) to Christ has a ripple impact out into this world!

Our “calling” to be fully His, to be His servants, and to walk in freedom from hindrances and sinful entanglements (Heb. 12:1,2) will bear much fruit for His glory. This has everything to do with living in godly unmarried sexuality! We abstain from certain things, but also fully participate in others—like His holy work in this world (1 Peter 2:9-10; John 15:5).

Whose servant will you be? Which kingdom will you live for? At which banquet table will you feast? Christ loves you and is wooing you!

  • Comments on: Godly UNmarried Sexuality (Part 2) – Christ’s provision in temptation
    1. Anonymous on

      Thank you for these posts on having a godly unmarried sexuality. This has been a challenge on and off for years. These posts helped me have a deeper understanding of myself and who I am in Christ. How God wants me to funnel what he has given me, for His glory to shine.

      Reply

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