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Building a Bridge With a Son Through Accountability

Last Updated: June 12, 2014

Ron DeHaas

Ron DeHaas is the president and co-founder of Covenant Eyes. Ron has a BS and an MS in Geology from The Ohio State University and attended the University of Michigan as a Ph.D. candidate. Ron pioneered the concept of Accountability Software and founded Covenant Eyes in the spring of 2000. Today, nearly half a million subscribers enjoy the Screen Accountability that Covenant Eyes provides. Ron also founded Nehemiah Ministries, a 160-acre retreat and counseling center in south-central Michigan for pastors and missionaries.

One of the key aspects of accountability is that it opens doors for communication.  It “breaks the ice,” so to speak.  It does this even for people who never get a highly rated site, simply allowing the partner to ask the question, “How are you doing?”

Well, in this case, a son was indeed looking at pornography, and got caught by his dad, a pastor.  Here are the dad’s words (given here with his permission):

From:   [mailto:]
Sent: Tuesday, August 05, 2008 11:14 PM
To: resources@covenanteyes.com
Subject: Son spared.

I would just like to say thank you for your service to our children. My 13 year old son, accessed a porn site without knowing that we had installed C.E. and my accountability partner confronted me immediately thinking it was me. Knowing it was not me, I immediately confronted my son.  He admitted fault and what happened afterwards was a great breakthrough that brought us closer together, and more importantly brought him closer to God.  This was truly a timely God-send.

My son confessed that he hadn’t felt God in a couple of years and we encouraged him to seek God. A couple of days later we attended “Jesus Culture” in [a nearby town] where about 2,000 teens and parents had an encounter with God.  Last Friday, when a prayer tunnel was made, my son jumped up to run through it and
kept being sent back because it was not our section’s turn; after the third try he anxiously passed through it…   You can imagine how proud and how blessed we are as parents.

Again, thank you so, so much for being true servants. As for myself, I had a great break-through at the Promise Keepers event in [another nerby town]. I felt I didn’t need the filter anymore, but I’m so glad I installed it. One young life was spared the anguish and frustration from one of the greatest  enemies of our time.

Again, thank you and I will refer others to your site.

A Grateful Pastor

  • Comments on: Building a Bridge With a Son Through Accountability
    1. Scott on

      Sincere love and thanks go to the Covenant Eyes Orginization. Looking in my six childrens eye through a looking glass of hypocrasy is the hardest and saddest thing I’ve ever done. As many have pointed out, it’s so easy and simple, hopefully drugs never get to a “point and click” fix like porn. After years of self help, faling down and getting up, again and again, I went to Convenant Eyes and am thinkful to God I did. Sure, there are ways around it (especailly for people whom made careers in IT security such as myself)…. but there is a small window that forces you to think about what you are doing, how many peple in impacts, and the most important victim of all… yourself. Thank you CE’s!

      Reply

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