Accountability Partners receive your Internet Accountability Reports. But good Accountability Partners are also willing to read over these reports and have conversations with you about how you are using the Internet.
Who should be your Accountability Partner? For some people the choice is an obvious one. A best friend. A parent. A spouse. But others struggle with this question: who will make the best Partner?
An Accountability Partner should be…
1. Conversational but Confidential—You want someone who is willing to listen to you and talk to you about the details of your report, but you don’t want someone who will break confidence and share your report with others.
2. Challenging but not Condemning—Good accountability partners are not cops who are just looking for you to slip up, but more like coaches who are challenging you to live with integrity. Choose someone who is willing to challenge and advise you—and even confront you, when necessary—but will also encourage you.
Should my spouse be my Accountability Partner?
For married people, their spouses are often a natural fit to be an Accountability Partner. In fact, for those using Covenant Eyes proactively, the spouse may be the only Accountability Partner needed. However, a spouse may also be too close to a sensitive situation to give you constructive feedback, and the Reports may cause significant pain. Your spouse should make the decision as to whether or not they want to be an Accountability Partner, and how much information they receive. For more information, read Dr. Doug Weiss’s article, “Including Wives in Accountability Relationships.”
Regardless of your spouse’s involvement, we strongly recommend having at least one Accountability Partner of the same gender.
How to ask someone to be your Partner:
1. Tell your potential Partner what Covenant Eyes is and why you use it—Telling your potential Partners why you use Covenant Eyes will be a great help to them when they start receiving your Reports. They will know what “red flags” to look for on your report and be able to more freely talk to you about them.
2. Ask your potential Partner if they are willing to hold you accountable—What does “accountability” mean to you? What do you expect your Partners to do (other than receive Reports)? Ask your potential Partners if they want to accept that responsibility.
3. Send the invitation to your Partner—You can send invitations to your pending Partners through your online account.
4. Remind your Partner to accept the invitation—Your Partner will receive an e-mail with a link to accept their role as your Partner. He or she should click this link and follow the prompts given to them.
Adding an Accountability Partner When You’re Struggling
Frequently, we receive calls from members who, for whatever reason, have been operating the Covenant Eyes software without an Accountability Partner. They view HM material, then call us wanting to erase this activity before adding a partner. We do not have the capability to edit Accountability Reports, and doing so would go against the mission of our company and what we’re trying to accomplish. You want an open, honest relationship with your partner—if you’re already struggling, they should know that so that they have the knowledge required to help you remain virtuous online. You cannot have accountability without transparency, and if you feel like you need to present yourself as perfect to your Accountability Partner, or in any way mask or diminish the struggle you’re experiencing, you should consider choosing a different partner. You won’t be able to achieve transparency with someone you feel the need to hide things from, and your relationship with them, as well as your quest for integrity online, will suffer.