How do I talk to my friend about an incident on a Report?

Covenant Eyes Accountability Reports are custom-made to help you have good conversations about how devices are being used. Still, talking about an incident or high rating can be awkward. Generally, as you and and the person you hold accountable develop a habit of conversation, talking about incidents can become easier and feel more natural.

1. Understand the Report

First, it is important to make full use of the Report before you have the conversation. What happened before the Incident? What happened immediately after? To help you read the Report thoroughly, read the following articles:

2. Schedule the Conversation

Second, decide whether you should talk face-to-face, over the phone, in an email, or some other manner. This will depend on the nature of your friendship or relationship. If you and the Accountability User have conversations regularly, you will need to decide whether to wait until your regular meeting, or if you should talk sooner than that.

3. Address the Issue Using the Report

Third, confront the person you hold accountable with the information from the Report itself, not just your conclusions. It is important to not make presumptions when talking about the Accountability Reports. Mistakes in judgment can always be made. Here’s an example of how you might start your conversation:

“Hey Bob, I was reading your Covenant Eyes Accountability Report today and noticed that you had an incident from Right before you got to this website you searched for “______” on a search engine. It looks like you visited this site on (day) at (time). Just wanted to ask you about this to see what happened.”

Let the conversation flow based on the information from the Report.

4. Develop a Habit of Conversations

The Accountability Report provides a chance for you to talk with the person you hold accountable about the temptations faced and the choices made online. Developing a habit of conversation is the best way to make the most of your Covenant Eyes experience.

As your accountability relationship deepens you can address specific questions about internet use. Are there certain times of day the person you hold accountable is tempted to visit objectionable sites? Are there particular websites that seem to always have high rated links that should be avoided? Where are the “gray areas” on the Internet—the places that are not overtly objectionable but are still tempting? Are there otherwise benign websites that seem to always be triggers for visiting more objectionable ones?

Need help getting started? Join our Accountability Academy to learn how to build a strong accountability relationship.