I Told My Wife I’m Tempted By Pornography…
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Struggling...
I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you at Covenant Eyes for providing this awesome ministry. I was a porn addict of the worst kind. I struggled with my spiritual life, and was too ashamed of my problem to admit it to anybody. This led to a breakdown of relationships in my family and even with my friends. I found myself being short-tempered, ill-natured and finding no meaning in life.
I own my own laptop, with a wireless Internet connection. This spells danger clearly, as I could take the computer into the bathroom, my bedroom, or anywhere private, and have my own little dark time of browsing as many porn sites as I could find... And believe me they are easy to find! I would look at as many pictures as I could until my fantasy was fulfilled for the time, and I would then clear my Internet history, to cover my bases just in case someone using my computer would find out what I had been doing. This went on for many, many months. Nobody ever caught me... I was very good at covering my tracks.
Well, one day I became strongly convicted about this issue. (Now, I was raised in a Christian home, and knew all along that what I was doing was very wrong, but I never really wanted to quit.) When this conviction hit, I began trying to claw my way out of the pit. I was still not telling anyone about it; however, I was attempting to right myself on my own "with God helping me" as I would tell myself time and time again.
Well, it would not go more than two or three days, (or less) and I would find myself back in the pit again, and I would once again ask God's forgiveness and start over. I would feel forgiveness, but never could overcome the sin!
Finally, through listening to others talk about their previous struggles, I discovered Covenant Eyes. I decided to reveal my problem to a very close trusted friend, about 3 years older than myself. He was very kind, and immediately dispelled my fears of revealing this dark, private side of my life.
We began using Covenant Eyes for our means of accountability. It was marvelous! It lit up my dark rooms, it shed light on the keypad as I typed in Internet addresses, and I felt that my friend was always standing there watching me go wherever I went. I can honestly say that instantly after beginning accountability, the temptation was cut by 75 percent. The other 25 percent has been a slow process, but with God's help, and the help of my dear friend, along with your wonderful program, I am having victory, and feel open and clear before God.
Since I signed up, you added the Dynamic Scoring Filter product, and I signed up for that as well. I had some experience with another popular filter, which was strongly recommended by many Christians, and I can say that your filter is by far better than that filter was. It is more accurate in identifying objectionable sites, while letting unobjectionable ones come through. Instead of relying on a black/white list, your filter intelligently looks at the site itself and (usually) makes a very accurate conclusion. I have never had the filter allow a pornographic page to load on my computer.
I believe that Covenant Eyes is dedicated to helping people like me out of our pits, and I thank God for your ministry! I pray for your continued success.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
A very satisfied user,
Matthew
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Last updated: 2008-07-30