White Collar Sideshow

My wife, Veronica, introduced me to the Internet, and it wasn’t long until I discovered that the World Wide Web was more like the Wild West. I started sneaking out of bed to go get online. I would have a fling with my computer from 11:00 at night till 4:00 in the morning. I thought it was hidden and I definitely didn’t think this affected my wife.

Veronica figured out pretty quick what was going on. She chose not to confront me about it though. She said that she thought it was her fault. She thought she wasn’t pretty enough or skinny enough to please me. So that is why she figured I was getting online all the time. Rather than addressing the problem with me, she actually fell back into bulimia. I had absolutely no idea that it was going on. We hid our secrets from each other and everyone else.

We wore a perfect mask for each other and everyone else. People would ask how we were doing, how’s our marriage, etc. And we would just wear our masks and tell everyone life is great and God is good.

Finally, after a year, Veronica had had enough. Obviously her solution wasn’t fixing anything; it was only making life worse. So one morning I snuck back into bed, and she simply said, “I know what you’re doing.” We had to have a “sit-down” talk over all of this. I had no idea that my personal, hidden addiction had this much of an impact on her. She confessed that she had been struggling with an eating disorder due to my addiction.

We realized we had to lean on God to get us through this time. We became an open book to each other. We were both fallen soldiers and chose to fight this battle together. We said “I do” not only to each other, but also to God.

– Tyler Benton, White Collar Sideshow

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