Porn and Your Husband

Parenting the Internet Generation Ebook Cover

Did you catch your husband watching porn? Learn the answers to common questions, tips to productive conversations, steps to setting boundaries, and how to determine the next steps for your marriage.

7 thoughts on “How to Talk to Your Husband about His Porn Use

  1. It’s really embarrassing to sharing our problems related to this specific industry only if you are newly wedding or your husband don’t listen to your problems but the honesty and candidness reach the heart, Thanks for sharing the valuable post.

  2. My boyfriend looks at porn everyday. I finally caught him looking at it at three am. I tried to talk to him about it and how it hurt me. Our intimacy is almost nonexistent. He says it not a problem it’s just something he does,denied everyday use which is a lie because I checked. I am so hurt please help me, I don’t know whether to leave or not

    • It definitely sounds like it’s time to consider what healthy boundaries will look like for you. You know the truth of the situation, and you know how it impacts you. Decide if this is a way of life that’s healthy and right for you. If not, it’s probably time to leave. It’s sad and painful when our partners won’t connect with us, but when this happens, it’s best to allow ourselves to see reality and take action that’s healthy for us. If he wants to change, he can. But meanwhile, live a life that reflects your value and worth as a person. Peace to you, Kay

  3. My husband watches porn every night. He doesn’t care that I know and tries to get me to watch it with him. He thinks it would be good for me and maybe I will learn something. I tell him it is disgusting and leave the room. He keeps watching and when I go to bed, he tries to get me to do the things he just watched. I tell him that I am his wife, not a porn star. He just complains and asks me why everything has to be on my terms. Why don’t I care about his needs.

    • Hey there,

      Well, this sounds pretty typical of a man who’s watching a lot of porn and sees women simply as objects for his own self-gratification. I don’t think there’s much you can do to change him, but there’s a lot you can do to be healthy for yourself.

      Consider your boundaries. Here, here, and here are some articles to help you start thinking about that.

      Find a therapist for yourself, to help you process your pain and to get support for your healthy boundaries.

      Find a support group for yourself.

      Check out the online resources at Bloom for Women.

      Whatever he chooses, you choose to be healthy and whole.

      Peace,
      Kay

  4. my husband has always watched porn and we have talked about it and I have told him how much he hurts me but he dont stop he will leave his kelnix on the end table for me to find, and somtimes I will catch him but nothing seems to change we been together 30 years but not sure to make it 31

    • I’m so sorry. I hope you’ll find a therapist who can help you process the pain and consider what healthy boundaries will look like to you. Of course we can’t control other people, but we can control our own choices. Here, here, and here are some articles on boundaries. You might also appreciate the online community at Bloom for Women. Peace to you, Kay

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