About the author, Dann Aungst

Dann Aungst is a recovering sex addict and the author of the book From One Addict to Another. Dann is passionately involved in educating and helping others become free from porn and sex addiction in faith-based recovery. Dann has spoken at men’s conferences and is the president of Road to Purity, a non-profit organization that educates men on authentic godly relationships and understanding true purity, providing tools for recovery in live workshops as well. Dann also does addiction recovery coaching and is in the process of becoming certified through the American Association of Sex Addiction Therapists. Dann lives in Colorado and is a member of a local Catholic church. Like him on Facebook at facebook.com/roadtopurity2.

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The Porn Circuit

Parenting the Internet Generation Ebook Cover

Science shows us why porn is highly addictive. Learn how our neurochemistry is easily hijacked by porn to create compulsive behaviors, and discover how the brain can be rewired to escape porn's allure.

21 thoughts on “4 Non-Biblical Reasons Porn Is Ruining Your Life

  1. To say anybody is going to hell in general is an unrighteous judgment and I have been addicted to p*** but by the grace of God I’m giving that care to him because he can carry it and I can’t I do appreciate your ministry but please please be careful how you word things that people don’t want to hear the truth God’s ways are his ways and if you don’t line up with his ways you won’t be with him for eternity

    • I appreciate your concern. Look at how it is stated. It refers that it is a belief that we hear, not that I have.

  2. Great information but I was concerned with your ending. I would never say to someone with this to go ahead and indulge. That is scary! This addiction is perverse and selfish. Thank you and God Bless you!

    • Art, keeping the issue out in the light, as you’ve done here, is so important. Yes, we seek the help of the Holy Spirit to lead us into righteousness, avoiding sin, but God’s grace is fresh every morning. Press on! God is for you.

      Peace, Chris
      Covenant Eyes

  3. Very well written! I have been porn free for sometime, and my marriage had been restored. Keep up the fight and turn to Jesus and others who have had victory.

    • That is fantastic, Jeff. Victory is possible! It’s not easy, but definitely possible. Blessings on your marriage.

      -Chris
      Covenant Eyes

    • What an amazing detailed information of this addition. In our time it has been pushed down the throughts of every human being that is connected to the web. It is a serious plague that we must fight for the life of our bodies, emotions and souls. Moreover, we need to be at war with pornography for the sake of our children, marriages, and society in general. The battle is a spiritual one
      In which the casualties are the lives of human beings,bodies and souls. We must fight with spiritual weapons Jesus gave us: Faith, Repentance, Confession, the Holy Mass, Communion and daily recitation of the Rosary alone or as a family. These weapons have proved to be supernaturally effective because we don’t fight alone. God is the only one that can free us from every chain, slavery, or addition. God loves each one of us most perfectly and always meets us where we are.
      Rely on Him. Read Mathew 7-7

  4. This is such important information to have access to…thanks for taking the time to provide this detailed explanation of what goes on with porn use and how damaging it is.

  5. Do you know of any rehabs that you would recommend. I am the wife and worried it’s happening again. Would appreciate your help and recommendations please.

    • Hey there.

      My suggestion would be to find a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) in your area. That person should be able to help your husband find a good option in your area, and also provide good continuity of care for him before and after rehab. If his case is serious enough to need rehab, then he will definitely need ongoing care afterward as well.

      I would also recommend that you find a counselor just for you, to help you process your own emotions and consider healthy boundaries. So many, many times I see all the work and resources going into the husband’s recovery with very little attention being paid to the wife, who often meets the criteria for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). So, whatever happens with your husband, you make sure to take care of you.

      Blessings, Kay

    • Me too. My husband is addicted but won’t admit it. I’ve talked to therapists but all they say is “it’s not about you.” Then why do I feel beaten up, like a loser all the time. I’m overweight but food is my only pleasure because of porn, my husband has erectile dysfunction. Those TV whores took my husband away. I’ll never trust him again and wish I could leave but I have no place to go. I really want out but don’t want to hurt him. I’ve tried to turn it over to God but I don’t think I’ll ever trust as man again, certainly not mine.

    • You feel beaten up because porn addiction is a betrayal of the emotional heart of the marriage. Rather than turning toward you, he’s turned toward porn. Many women will meet the clinical criteria for PTSD when faced with the kind of situation you’re describing.

      Of course you don’t trust him; his behavior is not trustworthy!

      I would agree with the therapists: his choices are not your fault. However, his choices do have a deep impact on you, and in that area you’re the person who can decide what boundaries are healthy for you. You might want to find a counselor who’s devoted to helping YOU process your emotions and build healthy boundaries. A group would be great. And you might appreaciate the online resources at Bloom.

      No matter what your husband chooses, YOU can choose to be healthy and whole.

      Peace to you,
      Kay

  6. I married a man after my late husband passed and his wife had passed as well of cancer. He was a preacher as well as my late husband. He’s 60 yr old. We’ve been married 5 years. I’m just finding out he has been addicted for 16 yrs. He pastored a church for some 25 years and no one ever knew. So I married a liar and pervert it seems. He doesn’t think counseling is important and I’m the one to constantly have to remind him if he has an appointment. He said he was doing great for 4 months. I caught him at it again. He thought because he chose to look at nude women art on eBay and it had no sound or movement he was ok. I’m now dealing with double the pain in a short time. This man tells me and our pastor he can’t have a human relationship. He just needs 5 minutes and he’s done. I’ve finally left for a few days to sort through this. With him still being deceiving I’m not sure if forgiveness is the answer. I wish I knew what to do at 60 yr old. We are in counseling with our pastor but not on a regular basis I just met with pastor and told him I thought my husband needed ICU care. I could no longer be responsible for his actions and him getting help.

    • Hey Judy. Thanks for sharing your story here. I’m so, so sorry for the pain you’re experiencing right now. I’m really glad you’ve been able to create some healthy boundaries for yourself. You are so right that this is your husband’s responsibility, not yours.

      Sadly, this inability to relate to real people is the deepest damage that porn does, in my opinion. When porn becomes a persistent habit, and an outlet for all emotions, that’s what you end up with. It would require a great deal of work on his part to not just stop looking at porn, but to dig into the real pain of his life and deal with that–and then to be able to relate to you in a healthy way that’s emotionally caring and trustworthy. I think he needs to see a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), if he’s really going to recover.

      Whatever he chooses, I hope that you will get help for yourself, with your own counselor and a good support group. Pastoral care is really great, but I’m afraid many pastors aren’t equipped to help with the trauma that women experience in situations like this. I hope you’ll take good care of yourself–that’s the best thing to do at any age!

      Let us know how we can help, Kay

  7. What can we do about the porn that is presented to our vulnerable children as “sex education? Not every family has the resources to put the kids in a private school or to home school..

    • Hi Sue – is your question coming from a situation you’re dealing with where you don’t approve of the sex ed curriculum? Or from a fear based on things you’ve heard? Before I respond, I just want to be clear. Thank you.

      Chris

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