Episode 146
[powerpress]
Often, accountability partners simply don’t know how to encourage and guide those who struggle with pornography.
One of the best ways Christian accountability partners can help each other is to engage around the Word of God. According to research from the Center for Bible Engagement, routine accountability decreases the chances of relapsing into pornography by 31%—especially when the accountability is centered on promises from the Scriptures.
Today we are continuing our interview with Dr. Pam Ovwigho of the Center for Bible Engagement to talk about how Bible reading and accountability can go hand-in-hand.
Show Notes:
0:50 – The number one predictor of spiritual growth: Bible engagement four or more days per week
2:29 – How the app GoTandem helps us understand how the Word of God is changing lives
4:07 – The four Scriptural themes porn strugglers find the most helpful in their battle: perseverance, discouragement, relationships, and sexual needs and desires
4:45 – Relationships: Using Jeremiah 17:5-8 to rely on God and not idolize human relationships
10:44 – Sexual Needs: Using 2 Timothy 2:22 to flee from lust and flee to God
15:59 – Discouragement: Using Deuteronomy 31:8 to find encouragement in God’s presence
20:40 – Perseverance: Using 1 Corinthians 10:13 to strive for perseverance through continued temptations
25:46 – How a good accountability partner can use the Word of God
I find a lot of responses to these postings from men saying it isn’t a big deal to look at a naked women. Yet I wonder if it was their mom or daughter or sister that was being looked at, would it not be such a big deal then? After all, that woman posing is somebodies daughter. How would you feel if you went to a website and say your mother, daughter, or sister was there? Would you be ok with that? If you say yes, then it’s only because your conscience has been seared from looking at porn for so long. Think back to when you first saw porn. Didn’t you try to hide it from your parents or others? Wasn’t there something instinctive in you that said this is wrong? Yet after years of looking at it then it became ok and normal. Your conscience has been weakened so bad you no longer feel the guilt and shame that tells you that it’s not ok.
If looking at porn is normal and healthy and ok, then the porn industry should be a fine place to be in. Yet women who have come out of the industry say that all these women who pose are doing drugs. Why do they do that? Cause inside they know it is wrong and have to medicate their mind away from what they are doing. It is a destructive lifestyle…just like it is for those who look at porn. That’s why you wouldn’t ever want your loved one to be caught up in the industry. Many of you guys keep talking about how “this sin” or “that sin” is worse. When people do that it is only to justify their own sinful actions. They have to focus on other sins, because when they look at Jesus and see what he did, they know that there is something very wrong with looking lustfully at another person. Stop comparing it to other sins and look at Jesus. See what he did on the cross. He loves you and wants you to have a far better life than one that is wrapped up in sin. And you can have freedom, but you need to lay down your pride and selfish desire to look at what you want when you want. Let Him lead you and trust that He will fulfill the desires of your heart. I’m learning this too…as we all are.
Thank you, Andrew, for your insightful comments. I have noticed the same responses to many of the articles about the harms of porn use. It appears that in order for these men to justify their enjoyment of porn they lay blame elsewhere–much of it at the feet of partner, feminism, religion, society–whatever they grab onto to take the blame off of themselves. I am the wife of a porn addict, and let me tell you; it hurts..a lot. I hope to read more responses from men like you who are becoming enlightened to porn’s lies. Thank you, again, I was beginning to lose hope that understanding men were out there.
Hi Luke, I don’t know if you’ve come across this yet, but I found this group of people making an amazing movie called “Hearts of Men”. I think they could use Covenant Eye’s support in any way you can give it, even if that’s just standing by them.
Peace & rest,
Chris
Yes. I know the film. Their first film, Rape for Profit, was amazing. Looking forward to the next one.
Hey skeptic so where do you believe everything came from, why do we exist and where are we going?
Well, I told you I still believe in God and Christ. I just don’t believe in some of the things in the bible. It is terribly contradictory at times.
The answers to your questions are much larger than us. Something cannot come from nothing — that is for sure. There has to be a cause. I believe that cause is God.
Why do we exist? My personal take is to develop our souls. Now, can you do this in one lifetime — I doubt it. For instance, look at what I wrote. How do you know what it means to be on both sides of things if you are only one side of things all the time. My police example is a wonderful example. Go to a prison. See the people. Hear the stories. You will find that the truth is somewhere in between what the news and the police tell you. Besides the fact there are MANY innocent people in prison due to widespread railroading, there is the understanding that often our punishments are much worse than the crimes themselves. Doubt this? Go do what Christ said — visit prisons. But my point is this, few people have total perspective on life. It is nearly impossible to do this in a lifetime.
Where are we going? Your guess is as good as mine. Heaven — maybe. Another part of this universe to learn more — maybe. No where — maybe.
If we go nowhere —- then the insanity of what we do to people on this planet is ever worse. If there is no even, then every breath is precious. It makes our propensity to kill and imprison even more horrible.
If I had to put money on it, when we die, we go to some other existence and live more and learn more. Sitting around in heaven for all eternity sounds extremely boring to me. I have a sneaky suspicion that whatever we don’t learn in this life, we learn in another life. Lots of people on this planet have no true understanding of compassion, mercy, forgiveness, or love. The bible belt in the south proves this perfectly seeing as though it is the incarceration capital of the world.
I used to believe in the bible. I used to questions things but often would dismiss them because of the faith clause of the bible. The reality is this. The bible contradicts itself and sends mixed messages. Some things are not believable. A burning bush? A person lived in a whale? A chariot racing to heaven? A wheel coming down from the sky? Please. Then there is the targeted bias towards people. A lot of the bible sounds like people writing about what they dont like and making it evil.
Then I look at the world around me. It is so inequitable. Some people are in gutters. Others are in palaces. I know innocent people in the hell of prison right now and corrupt guilty as sin police and DAs who are being lauded as community heroes. Then what religion you follow is really just a function of where you were born. If I was born in the middle east I would be Muslim. If I was born in India I would probably be Hindu. Somewhere in Asia, I would be Buddhist. Then I look at illnesses. Why do some people get sick and others do not? Ever see a person with a mental illness. I mean live with them? Those people didnt ask for that. It is a horrible existence and don’t tell me they are here to learn something because they are not capable of learning. Also, dont tell me they are here to teach us something because that is a terrible thing to put a person through that hell to just teach others.
So forgive me if I dont think looking at a naked woman is that big of deal. It is only a big deal because puritanical Christians dont like it and want others to think like they do. Looking at a pretty woman has somehow become evil, but telling people they are sinners all the time is somehow good? Lots of people now are not identifying with a religion and many are turning atheist. Sadly, I sometimes have my doubts about God too. Oddly, the only thing that keeps me believing is his son. That is the only thing that gives me hope — his son. It most certainly isn’t the words of the bible or the hypocrisy of many Christians.
I still pray and I tell God that his son must come back. Not because of the normal Christian nonsense and some mythical rapture that will not happen. If people disappear off this planet, I assure you it wont be because of the rapture. But rather, Christ needs to come again because he needs to help all of mankind. Mankind needs him. Man cannot do this alone. They are capable.
Hi Skeptic,
I hear you. For years I doubted the truth of the Bible for the very same reasons. My undergrad years were filled with doubt and a lot of exploration.
Of course it would be impossible for me to reply to all of your thoughts here, and I doubt it would matter a lot if I did. These are great questions you are asking, and they deserve a lot more attention that any one person can add to a thread on a blog post.
That said, I would only push back with some questions of my own:
1. You say the Bible sends mixed messages: is this because of the variety of audiences to which the Bible writes, or because the authors genuinely disagree with one another?
2. You say some things in the Bible are unbelievable. For sure they are astounding occurrences. But is what makes them unbelievable something objective about the occurrences themselves or because of our presuppositions about what is possible?
3. You say the Bible sounds like a bunch of targeted biases. Is this a reason to reject what they say if what the authors experienced is authentic? For instance, if the disciples really saw Jesus rise from the dead, are their reports of His words about various sins just biased information, or are they reports of something we should pay attention to?
4. You say the world looks inequitable. Yes. You are right. The Bible sees this world the same way, but also believes in a God who will make all things right in the end. Have you read these portions of Scripture before?
5. You say your religious belief is largely a product of where you are born. To be sure. But how does this go against anything the Bible teaches?
6. You say looking at porn isn’t a big deal. But we here don’t call it “a big deal” merely because so called “puritanical Christians” think it is, but because we believe something about a God who thinks it is. This, of course, goes back to what you think about the Bible. Isn’t it prejudging our motives a bit to say the only reason we write what we do is because we have groundless puritanical ethics?
7. You say you pray for God to send His Son back. So do we. But isn’t the return of Christ even more a fantastic and “unbelievable” event as any of the events in the Bible you find too incredible?
8. You say you don’t believe in a “rapture.” That term has a lot of meanings, so I won’t assume I understand what you mean exactly. What exactly do you mean?