About the author, Matt Fradd

Matt Fradd is the author of Delivered: True Stories of Men and Woman Who Turned from Porn to Purity. After experiencing a profound conversion at World Youth Day in Rome in 2000, Matt has worked through full-time lay ministry in Australia, Ireland, Canada, and Texas. He has served as an apologist for Catholic Answers and has traveled all over the world, speaking to tens of thousands of teens and young adults. He and his wife Cameron have four children and live in North Georgia.

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Your Brain on Porn

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Watching just 5 hours of porn has been proven to significantly change people's sexual beliefs and attitudes. Find out 5 distinct ways that porn warps your brain, as well as 5 biblical ways to renew your mind and find freedom.

16 thoughts on “4 Lies About Sexuality in Fifty Shades of Grey

  1. I did not know that this book sold more copies than all the Harry Potter books combined. That is very telling. What it tells me is that a lot of women are closet freaks and make no mistake, it is women who are reading them. Women are such hypocrites. They talk about violence and an imbalance of sexual power, but it all becomes okay if an Audi and cash is in it for them. I find all this laughable. 50 Shades of Grey is why I will never take a woman seriously. The say one thing and then their actions are totally different than what they say.

    • I agree that reading this book is troublesome, but I’m not sure I would say every women is a hypocrite who reads it. For those who don’t decry violence against women or those who desire the kind of relationship presented in the book, they probably feel no hypocrisy.

      That said, there are also a lot of women who didn’t read Fifty Shades for the very reasons you mentioned.

    • I noticed this too about these books. America is kind of in denial about its hypocrisy. What I find interesting is the whole domestic violence issue. One football player hits his girlfriend and the world goes nuts even though she chose to marry him. She obviously forgave him but no one else will. But anyhow, one football player does this and we hear about it over and over again. But the police have TWICE the rate of domestic violence of anyone in society. Yet, we never hear a thing about this. It is like we pick and choose whom to chastise. No matter what. The illusions in America must be maintained. The whole Audi thing in the books did bug me. But frankly, most women would go for that. Not all, but most. It is like I always say. There are lots of decent men in homeless shelters. Men who would appreciate a good woman. But no woman goes looking for a man there. Why? Because for women, on some level, it is all about money. Now there is varying degrees. But on some level. It is about money.

    • Keeping in mind that you’re basing your harsh generalisation of women based on a poorly written character in an erotic novel. Not all women would sell themselves out for an Audi and a first edition. I don’t think I know any that found this book even slightly arousing or anything short of God awful literature. I know just as many guys who have read it, and if you think that the victimisation of women is a problem in this book, you might want to look at the converse: the okay for guys to be ******bags towards women. THAT is the frightening thing.

    • The demand for this book highlights a measure of brokenness experienced by the women (and possibly men) who buy it. And since the number of women (I don’t know about the men) in demand is extremely high, this issue warrants a response by men, especially Christian men, who need to take charge of the situation. How will they do this? Becoming men who can present themselves best to women is one step, but knowing what a woman really wants when they say they want something is another. I know I’m not being very specific, but this is a general overview of the solution I propose.

      That being said, thank you very much for the article and video, Luke. If you could link an article or follow up on this one for men who need this, I would very much appreciate it.

    • In some way, a woman’s attraction to the character Christian Grey is to be expected in a world where there is a serious lack of men who exude a healthy masculinity.

      Time and time again I’ve seen interviews with the author of these books and many female book critics, and they give a very similar sentiment: The kinky sex in the book is a nice little thrill, but what really draws us to Christian Grey is that he is a man who takes control in the bedroom; he gives, he leads, he adores. Given these qualities, many women can overlook the poor writing and the fact that the guy is seriously disturbed and is basically an instigator of Intimate Partner Violence.

    • First off, Wow, I’m not going to go into how incredibly sexist and unfair to women your comment was. Secondly, I know many women who read the book and couldn’t believe that other people were finding it erotic and enjoyable to read. Although fans will say that despite the violence portrayed, Ana saved Christian, the fact is that most domestically violent relationships don’t have a happy ending. The victim of these relationships usually feels it’s their fault and they have to stay to fix it, and for the lucky few who realize there’s nothing they can do to fix it, they have to run and sometimes hide from their abuser. Yes, it is telling that 50 shades sold more copies than the entire HP series. What it tells isn’t that “a lot of women are closet freaks,” but rather, as a society we are failing in valuing good things like friendship, loyalty, and bravery to stand up for what’s right.

  2. I find this rather offensive that you find all women hypocrites ,i feel that many men feel threatened by the liberation of women and just because one reads a book or goes to see a movie because it is raunchy for women ,it is men who are hypocritical .As Luke stated not all women read or found the book interesting so don’t judge us all the same .

  3. Wow, the misogyny is thick in Christianity. How about you guys keep your repressed lives to yourselves, and let people fantasize and do what they want in their own bedrooms. Talk about hypocrites, you want the gov out of your lives, but want to be in everyone else’s.

    • Not sure I follow you on the misogyny comment. What do you mean? Are you saying that many people who are Christians are also misogynistic? Are you saying that Christian doctrine endorses misogyny? Both? Something else entirely?

      I’m also not following the “repressed lives” comment. Who are the “you guys” who are repressed?

      Who here wants the government out of their lives? I’m not sure there’s been anything said here about that (on this post or any of the posts on this blog, for that matter).

      What do you mean that we “want to be in everyone else’s” life? This video is about pointing out the lies about sexuality in Fifty Shades of Grey, not about whether “we” (whoever you think “we” are) are in your life.

      I’m just not following.

  4. Here’s the thing gentlemen, it’s obvious when people have not actually read these books. The sex is not even the main part of it, and other than the last scene of the first part, it was violent or degrading either. These books were about a broken man who was horribly abused and made a lifestyle around how that affected him. In meeting this woman, it helps him deal with all the problems. And so they happened to have some kinky sex too. So call women hypocrites or whatever you want, maybe girls reading this might take it the wrong way in seeing the money and sex. but real women who know about life can appreciate the story behind it. I only wish it was written by a better author.

    • The sex is not even the main part of it.” I’m not sure that’s what this video is trying to say.

      These books were about a broken man who was horribly abused and made a lifestyle around how that affected him.” True. See Lie #2 in the video.

      I don’t think this video is trying to prove that there’s a lot of violent sex in the book, but that Christian Grey, who is portrayed in the book as the sex symbol, has equated sexiness with dominance and control, even violent tendencies. The reader is made to feel the sexual tension as Ana is drawn to someone who’s grasp of healthy sexuality is seriously limited and twisted.

      I don’t think this video is about calling women hypocrites, either. Can you help me understand how you got that message out of this?

  5. I’ve always been anti 50 shades for many reasons but what troubled me was that – no matter how difficult, no matter how out of our comfort zone it is – I somehow realised that the Christian response to it couldn’t be to just ignore it or simply dismiss it as porn.
    I think Jesus would have gone head to head with it – as He had that knack of doing in all difficult situations – and engage with it on some level that glorified God’s love over the ‘love’ portrayed in the series. I had no idea how to do this though and I like that Christian blogs and writers have tried to do so. The problem was always that – non believers – had no interest in this standpoint and I didn’t have the skill to get over that wall.
    I tweeted a lot about my opposition to it and someone sent me a link to a Christian fiction response that takes the original format of the book and then ‘mirrors’ it with a story about God’s love taking in concepts like ‘doulos’ and salvation along the way. I’ve given it to some friends – the same ones that had no interest in Christian blog posts – and they’ve really been engaged and informed by it and have gone on to engage in real talks about faith underpinned by it. One is (tentatively) attending church.
    For me that underpins that the key in the debate is – not to preach to one another about it – but to use it as a chance to outreach. The link – should anyone be interested is
    amzn.to/1Ac2x9c

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