When Your Child is Looking at Porn

Parenting the Internet Generation Ebook Cover

When you find your child or teenager has been looking at porn, how should you talk to him or her about it? Download this step-by-step guide for Christian parents to help you teach your children about harms and false messages of pornography.

2 thoughts on “If Your Child Sees Porn: Preparing for the Discussion

  1. My 12 year old daughter is really struggling with what has now become an addiction that we have tried to filter at every opportunity. However, she has been able to get around this by using kindles, ipods, school search sites, etc. She says she can not stop. We want to help heal her mind and heart from the damaging effects of the things that she has viewed, which are beyond horrible. I’m looking for a resource to work through with her to help start her healing and breaking from this addiction. Any help would be so appreciated.

    • Hi Lynn,

      So sorry to hear about what your daughter is doing and seeing. Please, read through the guide mentioned above: When Your Child Is Looking at Porn: A Step-By-Step Guide for Christian Parents. Even if you don’t use it with your daughter, it will help to keep you informed.

      Her access points right now are in the home? Out of the home? Both? Where exactly is she getting access?

      At this point, I agree that you need to help her overcome some of the things she has seen. There are a number of ways you can do this:

      1. Give her information to read about why porn presents an illusion about sex and sexuality and why porn is so addictive. There are many resources available out there for this, but on our site you can download some free digital books for her like Your Brain on Porn. If she’s looking for great Christian reading on this, I highly recommend Finally Free by Heath Lambert and Closing the Window by Tim Chester. In addition, Sex is Not the Problem (Lust Is) by Joshua Harris is very helpful.

      2. Give her reading about women and porn addiction. She might be feeling an extra dose of shame struggling with what is perceived to be a “male problem.” Books like Dirty Girls Come Clean by Crystal Renaud and Love Done Right: Devos by Jessica Harris and excellent reads. We have a whole group of posts on our blog she could read right now written for women. We also did a webinar for women a while back she should watch.

      3. She needs to get to the heart of why she finds pornography so appealing, beyond just the sex appeal. There are often desires that have come to rule our hearts that drive the attraction to porn.

      Your roll as a parent is critical. You have to see your daughter beyond the issue of porn. Ask for help. If she doesn’t feel comfortable talking to you, find someone she can feel comfortable talking to.

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