I’ve learned the hard way that pornography addiction will never be broken unless there’s genuine biblical repentance, and I’ve also learned the hard way that genuine biblical repentance always requires radical life changes. To break the chains of pornography addiction, I had to go beyond the never-ending cycle of sin-guilt-shame-sorrow-confession-rededication-repeat.
Many years ago, I began sincerely asking God, Christian counselors, and myself: “What do I need to change in my life to keep myself from committing this sin again?” With that question in the forefront of my mind, I’ve spent the last 10 years developing, editing, and striving to live what I call my personal purity battle plan.
That’s what you’re about to read, but before you read it, I need to make three things very clear …
- I’m not saying or implying that every Christian man needs to do everything that I do. This is my personal purity battle plan that fits my life with my specific struggles and history. Take from it whatever you feel will help you.
- I’m not saying or implying that this is the “silver bullet” that will make you and I porn-free for life. Believe me, I totally realize that without God’s Spirit empowering me, I’ve got nothing but words on a page!
- This is still a work in progress, just like me. Your feedback is welcomed and appreciated.
My Personal Purity Battle Plan
1. Every morning refocus, renew, refill, and realign with God’s Word (reading, studying, memorizing, meditating, or listening to a sermon). Remember, freedom follows fullness. Beholding the glory of God transforms a man. So I keep myself full on the Living Word and keep continually beholding Jesus Christ, the glory of God. (Hebrews 12:2; John 4:13-14; 2 Timothy 3:16; 1 Peter 2:2; Psalm 119:9-11; Colossians 1:16; 2 Corinthians 3:18; Ephesians 4:23-24)
2. Every morning review my Personal Purity Motivation. (Romans 12:2)
3. Every morning spend some time in prayer, recommitting myself to Christ as a living and holy sacrifice, and ask for His grace to live that this day. Without Him, I can’t do it! (Romans 12:1; Matthew 26:41; James 4:3; John 14:13-14)
4. Remind godly friends/mentors to pray for my personal purity and my continued victory over temptation/sin. (James 5:16; Matthew 18:19)
5. Never use the Internet without being monitored by Covenant Eyes Accountability Software. Make sure Covenant Eyes is monitoring all my Internet devices: home computer, work computer, iPhone, etc., and completely get rid of all apps that allow unmonitored Internet access. (Romans 13:14)
6. Never possess or listen to music that contains profanity, sexual content, innuendos, crude humor, etc. Make sure that all my music aligns with Philippians 4:8 or get rid of it.
7. Don’t buy, rent, or watch movies or TV shows that contain sexual content, nudity, or crude humor. They’re triggers for lust. (Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
8. Keep away from “fitness” type magazines. They always contain sexual articles, pictures, and advertisements. They’re also triggers for lust. (Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
9. Keep away from satellite radio. It contains some very inappropriate stations/content. (Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
10. Do not stay up late and watch TV when all alone. Go to bed when my wife goes to bed. (Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
11. Do not browse or preview any type of “adult” channels or movie titles on Pay-Per-View, Netflix, etc. Remember, it only takes a spark to ignite a forest fire! (Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
12. Bounce my eyes away from alluring images on billboards, magazine racks, etc. then quote a defense verse like Job 31:1 or 2 Timothy 2:22 or 1 Thessalonians 4:3.
13. Don’t talk or joke about sexually perverse things. This too has been a trigger. (Ephesians 4:29; 5:4)
14. Always look women in the eyes. If they’re dressed provocatively, get away as quickly as I can! Bounce my eyes away and quote a defense verse. (Job 31:1; Matthew 5:28)
15. Always conduct meetings with females (other than my wife or daughters) in a public place or have a third party present. Never meet alone with females! (1 Thessalonians 5:22)
16. Never flirt with females. Period. If they flirt with me, flee. (1 Thessalonians 5:22; Galatians 5:9)
17. Do not touch females other than my wife and daughters. Only a side hug is appropriate for other females. (1 Timothy 5:2)
18. Maintain honest weekly accountability with my accountability partners. Remember, accountability is absolutely pointless if I’m not going to be honest or if I’m going to be vague about my temptations, struggles, and failures. Remember to immediately contact my accountability partners when I’m in the moment of temptation! (Proverbs 27:17; 2 Timothy 2:22; Hebrews 10:24)
19. Notify my accountability partners in advance when I know I’m going to stay alone in a hotel room, and always have them check on me the next morning. As much as possible don’t travel alone. (Proverbs 27:17; 2 Timothy 2:22)
20. Every week keep myself interacting with, listening to, and watching godly men who are spiritually growing and impacting this world for Christ (mentoring meetings, phone conversations, listening to their podcasts, reading their books and biographies). Remember, I rise or fall to the level of men I surround myself with! (Proverbs 27:17; 2 Timothy 2:22; Hebrews 10:24)
21. When feeling very tempted, do the following …
- Look for the way of escape and completely flee the location where I’m being tempted. Get out of there—just like Joseph did. (1 Corinthians 10:13; Genesis 39:12)
- Immediately contact my accountability partners for support and prayer. Don’t try to fight alone. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)
- Quote Scripture Defense Verses out loud like 2 Timothy 2:22; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5; and Job 31:1.
- Out loud reclaim my new identity in Christ, reminding myself of who I now am in Him (New Creation, His Beloved, His Adopted Child, Ambassador of Christ, Temple of the Holy Spirit, etc.).
22. Continually identify anything in my life that causes/triggers me to sin, and completely amputate it out of my life. There must be separation from even the causes/triggers of sin. Remember, whatever causes/triggers me to sin, that thing to me is sin. Until I completely remove everything that causes me to sin, I cannot expect victory over sin! (Matthew 5:27-30; Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
23. Keep myself well rested with adequate sleep and be especially on guard when I’m sick or spiritually rundown. During those times don’t isolate myself. Stay in Christian community. (1 Timothy 4:16)
24. Do not spend much time home alone. When I’m home alone and feel the slightest temptation, flee! Go to a public place (coffee shop, library, park, gym, church office, etc.). (1 Corinthians 10:13; Genesis 39:12; 2 Timothy 2:22)
25. Continually keep myself focused on the specific mission/purpose/calling that God has given me, and go fulfill it. (Matthew 5:13-16; Ezra 7:10; 1 Timothy 4:16
26. Often take time to enjoy the good pleasures that God has given me, like spending time with good friends, date nights with my wife, read a good book, watch a good movie, go kayaking or hiking or mountain biking, etc. Instead of focusing on all the “thou shalt nots,” enjoy the many good gifts my Heavenly Father has given me. (James 1:17)
27. Always remember, this is a one-day-at-a-time battle. Just focus on winning the battle today. Don’t worry about tomorrow. “Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later win a little more.” – Louis L’Amour (Matthew 6:34)
28. Continually remind myself that in Christ, there is nothing I can do to make my Heavenly Father love me more, and nothing I have done to make Him love me less. Let that absolute truth motivate me to a life of holiness. (Romans 5:8; 8:37-39; Galatians 2:20)
Jason George is the Founder and President of Narrowtrail Ministries. He’s an itinerant evangelist and teacher who speaks at churches, camps, conferences, schools, etc. He and his wife have been married for over twenty years and have three children. Jason utilizes Covenant Eyes Accountability Software on all of his computers and his iPhone. Jason also produces a weekly podcast called, “THE GRIZ PODCAST,“and it’s all about helping boys become men and helping men become better men. It’s available on iTunes.
A friend in my men’s group, who will probably wind up being one of my accountability partners, sent me this link and I just read your Personal Purity Battle Plan about 20 minutes ago. I like your ideas a lot and will be trying most of them soon.
I do have my own twist on your morning consecrational disciplines, which might help some of your readers:
Earlier this year I decided to adopt the Jewish model of measuring my days evening to evening instead of the usual Western model of morning to morning. This makes preparation for bed the beginning of my day, not the end, and a good night’s sleep the foundation on which the daytime activities are built. I started this because I have a number of sleep disorders and I wanted to go to sleep explicitly being in the Lord’s presence.
A practical benefit is that my battleground of lust and temptation is in bed (I’m single, which has something to do with it), so if I can awaken with a clean conscience the active part of my day is so much better.
I do re consecrate myself upon arising but the major consecration is at bed time. I have not yet installed Covenant Eyes but I am going to try it. Not that the internet doesn’t present its own set of problems, but my main fuel for lust is the library in my head of pornographic images and stories I have stored up over the years. There are triggers in the internal realm the same as there are triggers in the external realm; I am trying to learn to understand them so I can battle them.
Anyway, that’s my two cents.