About the author, Sam Black

Sam Black

Sam Black is an Internet Safety Consultant and a manager at Covenant Eyes. He joined the Covenant Eyes team in 2007 after 18 years as a journalist, serving as a reporter and editor for newspapers and magazines in six states. He has been married for 17 years and is a father of two.

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The Porn Circuit

The Porn Circuit Ebook Cover

Science shows us why porn is highly addictive. Learn how our neurochemistry is easily hijacked by porn to create compulsive behaviors, and discover how the brain can be rewired to escape porn's allure.

Download this free guide

9 thoughts on “Why Porn Hurts Marriages (and why marital sex is so much hotter than porn)

  1. Sam, great article! The first part of the title, “Why Porn Hurts Marriages” I think of many reasons. As I speak from experience, it all boils down to breaking trust between partners. I couldn’t trust my husband t:, be faithful, be concerned with my life, or trust that he’s coming home tonight.
    Porn was the Great Divider.

  2. This is so terrible! Please stop telling people that porn is bad for their marriages. OBVIOUSLY sex with a real person is more satisfying than porn and masturbation, but for crying out loud! Sometimes you or your partner may go some days or weeks without wanting sex due to stress or exhaustion, and then porn and masturbation are great! My husband and I both watch porn and masturbate separately, and have sex, and watch porn while having sex. We’ve been married for five years. Women, jealousy of porn is completely absurd, The visual of people having sex is super stimulating, the idea that your spouse is somehow ‘cheating’ on you with the porn is totally absurd.

    • Hi Diana. There’s really nothing in this article about men “cheating” on their wives with porn. The point is to look at studies that show evidence that porn rewires the brain in ways that are unhelpful to all our potential as sexual beings. Your experiences with porn are, of course, your own. There are probably many people who don’t experience every kind of negative effect of pornography. But the overall aim of the article is how recent scientific finding can help those who are experiencing the negative impacts.

    • I feel maybe your in the wrong forum.. i don’t think people feel that masterbastion is the problem… the problem is men making excuses to masterbate… over stimulation with porn! Eventuley the need to satify oneself gets too
      desinsified it takes more for my HB to cum.

    • @Lisa Eldred

      As an avid consumer of porn, I strongly disagree! Porn is not the problem. Men who indulge in excessive consumption of porn are the problem. They are using porn as a scapegoat for their own inability to exercise self-restraint. Just like alcohol, when used in moderation, porn can be a healthy activity. In fact, I would argue that there is no such thing as porn addiction and this article (see link below) backs up my claims. The concept of a porn addiction is invented by jealous Christian housewives and crooked psychotherapists who want to make money.

      No such thing as porn ‘addiction,’ researchers say

    • Hi Raymond, thanks for your comment!

      It’s true that there is a lot of debate as to whether the clinical diagnosis of porn “addiction” exists (see this blog post, for example). Regardless of the addiction label, though, there is plenty of evidence that porn use changes your brain’s neurochemistry, including what you find sexually attractive, and influences how you think about sociological concerns. Regarding the former case, many men (young men, even) have discovered that their ED is tied to their porn use; because they have been rewired to be aroused by variety, their monogamous relationship of only one partner has not been enough to stimulate them. In the latter case, even four hours of porn use a week has been proven to result in attitudes of leniency for convicted rapists.

      For more information on either of these issues, I recommend that you download our e-books The Porn Circuit and Your Brain on Porn. Or, if you don’t trust us to be a reliable source of carefully-researched information, you may find this site informative.

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