Defeat Lust & Pornography college campus from sky
Defeat Lust & Pornography 2 minute read

Porn at College: Life at the Crossroads

Last Updated: February 21, 2014

by O.R. Leslie

porn at college the crossroads“O.R., can we go outside and talk in private?” the young man asked. He was in a Family Counseling class at a major Christian university where my wife, Brenda, and I had been asked to speak. As we went out the door, I put my arm on his shoulder, and he wept. “What you said up there, hit me hard. I can see myself in your story. I want to take my relationship with a girl to the next level. But I want my porn habit to be gone, because I know how the porn will affect our relationship.”

Brenda and I talked about this young man and his sensitive heart a great deal. We wondered…if someone had talked to me when I was in college, would it have made a difference?

I believe that for the porn user, college is the crossroads. The student is away from home for the first time and without parental supervision. They have freedom to make their own choices and sometimes make poor ones. Porn use frequently becomes a habit because it is most easily adopted when in secret and away from home. I don’t know for sure if someone talking to me in college would have made a difference. No two hearts are the same. Was my heart soft enough to be willing to listen to such a message when I was 13 to 21 years old?

In the Christian college classes we’ve taught, young ladies state, “Our boyfriends are pressuring us to either watch porn or make pornographic videos with them.” They ask, “Is there anything wrong with using a little porn and should we leave him if he won’t stop?” We are stunned.

They felt as if they were competing with the porn models and needed to compromise their values in order to have a relationship with the opposite sex. University deans and counselors have observed young men who would rather barricade themselves in their dorm room to engage in a porn fantasy than take a chance on a real relationship.

Why would someone trade interacting with a live human being for a fantasy? In a real relationship there are risks. Self confidence can be shattered when someone is turned down. But pornography does not bring anything meaningful into the user’s life. It never provides a true satisfactory experience for the user. Otherwise, the never-ending search for the perfect video or picture would end. True satisfaction can only be found in a real relationship with another person where intimacy can be experienced.

Parents, Christian colleges, and churches, need to make sure that our young people who are at this crossroad in life receive solid Biblical teaching about the sexual relationship. They need to understand how pornography is a habit that will continue to grow into an obsession, unless it is stopped early. They need to see the face of pornography for what it is. They need to see that it is a dead-end street full of despair, addiction, and pain. It neither fulfills nor satisfies. If a young man or young woman is not willing to stop a bad habit or addiction at 20, in all likelihood, unless something happens that is dramatic, he or she will not stop later on.

When Brenda and I tell our testimony about how pornography caused me to be incarcerated, nearly ended our marriage, hurt our children, blew up my career, and devastated our church family, they can see the face of pornography. They see real people who were profoundly affected in a negative way, but they also see that there is hope in overcoming an addiction. We hope young people will rethink their choices. We pray that they will.

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/regentscollegelondon/

. . . .

OR LeslieO.R. Leslie and his wife Brenda are partners in Three Voices Ministry, assisting those who suffer under the weight of pornography. They conduct classes and seminars throughout the United States at churches to educate and assist leadership and members.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related in Defeat Lust & Pornography

Editor's Picks

A teenage girl standing apart from a group of friends.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

I Was a 12-Year-Old Girl Addicted To Porn

All the assumptions that pornography was a boy’s struggle completely dismissed me,…

2 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

Woman habitually looking at her phone.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

Porn Habit vs. Porn Addiction: Is There a Difference?

What’s the difference between being addicted to porn and merely having a…

6 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A teenage girl using a computer.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

Is Something Wrong With Me?: A Woman’s Struggle With Porn

Sin has taken the form of nude images, explicit magazines, TV shows,…

4 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

Woman reading the Bible with her cup of coffee.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

How to Overcome Porn Addiction According to the Bible

The Bible clearly tells us what we should and shouldn’t do. It…

5 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A young woman singing with a microphone in church.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

I Was the “Perfect” Christian Girl and Addicted to Porn

I was introduced to pornography toward the end of elementary school. As…

3 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A teenage girl alone at night with her phone.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

I Thought I Was the Only Girl to Ever Struggle With This

The struggles I have had with pornography have been long and hard.…

3 minute read

Read Post

Related in Defeat Lust & Pornography

A teenage girl standing apart from a group of friends.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

I Was a 12-Year-Old Girl Addicted To Porn

All the assumptions that pornography was a boy’s struggle completely dismissed me,…

All the assumptions that pornography was a boy’s struggle completely dismissed me, a twelve-year-old girl addicted to porn. I was part of a large percentage of teens using pornography, and while so many of us…

2 minute read

0 comments

Woman habitually looking at her phone.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

Porn Habit vs. Porn Addiction: Is There a Difference?

What’s the difference between being addicted to porn and merely having a…

What’s the difference between being addicted to porn and merely having a porn habit? Habits are behaviors that have become automatic over time. Addiction involves a deeper change in your neurochemistry. Habits might be changed…

6 minute read

0 comments

A teenage girl using a computer.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

Is Something Wrong With Me?: A Woman’s Struggle With Porn

Sin has taken the form of nude images, explicit magazines, TV shows,…

Sin has taken the form of nude images, explicit magazines, TV shows, R-rated movies, sexual assault, and little minds being exposed to perversion at a young age. Whether the calendar reads 1932 or 2024, both…

4 minute read

0 comments

Woman reading the Bible with her cup of coffee.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

How to Overcome Porn Addiction According to the Bible

The Bible clearly tells us what we should and shouldn’t do. It…

The Bible clearly tells us what we should and shouldn’t do. It tells us that watching pornography is a sin and something Christians should strive to avoid.  But what if you are addicted to pornography? Suppose…

5 minute read

0 comments

A young woman singing with a microphone in church.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

I Was the “Perfect” Christian Girl and Addicted to Porn

I was introduced to pornography toward the end of elementary school. As…

I was introduced to pornography toward the end of elementary school. As a young Christian girl who had never imagined, seen or heard about such things, this exposure planted a seed in my mind that…

3 minute read

0 comments

A teenage girl alone at night with her phone.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

I Thought I Was the Only Girl to Ever Struggle With This

The struggles I have had with pornography have been long and hard.…

The struggles I have had with pornography have been long and hard. It is a road that I have traveled since I was a young girl and something that has filled my life with so…

3 minute read

0 comments