Defeat Lust & Pornography man sitting at a kitchen counter solving a rubix cube
Defeat Lust & Pornography 10 minute read

Why Is Porn So Addictive? 4 Reasons It’s Tough to Resist

Last Updated: March 26, 2024

Is porn really addictive? And if so, why do so many people have a difficult time quitting?

Meet Gary, a man financially ruined by pornography. “[He] acquired a new computer and internet access last Christmas. By February, he had spent over $100,000 on internet pornography and maxed out his credit cards, several of which were newly acquired.”¹

Amy tells her story. “Four years into my marriage I was buried in guilt and shame due to a porn addiction that no one (including my husband) knew about. The secrecy was killing me inside. Every single day I wished I could stop, but I didn’t know how. Day after day I promised myself that ‘today will be the last day,’ but that always proved to be false.”

One commenter on our website shared, “I’ve dug a HUGE hole for myself with this masturbation problem and pornography addiction. It’s affecting my concentration and, most importantly, my spiritual life.”

That’s just the tip of the iceberg. At Covenant Eyes we hear from thousands of people—men and women, married and single, young and old. That’s a lot of people who want to quit porn. Let’s look at the question of whether porn is addictive, why that is, and what steps can be taken to get free.

Is It Really An Addiction?

In 2004, psychologist Dr. Judith Reisman testified before the United States senate that porn is an “erototoxin.”2 By this she meant that porn is a sexually poisonous substance—addictive, toxic, and deadly.  That’s strong testimony to the negative impact porn can have on people’s lives.

But not everyone agrees with Dr. Reisman’s assessment.  Many feel that looking at porn everyone once in a while is perfectly normal and harmless. Are the people worried about porn just a bunch of religious prudes?

Actually, they’re not!

The online forum NoFAP was started for people who want to want to quit porn—by an atheist. It now has over 850,000 members from a variety of religious and non-religious backgrounds.3 They all recognize the power of porn addiction and the benefits of breaking free.

Still, there’s significant debate about whether it should be called porn “addiction”. A lot of naysayers reject the label.

But if you’re stuck in the cesspool of pornography, what you call it doesn’t make a lot of difference. You can’t break the hold of porn on your life.

All you know is you can’t break the hold  porn has on your life. And that is frustrating! Regardless of the consequences, you keep turning back to porn again and again. People like Gary, Amy, and hundreds of thousands of others know firsthand what it’s like to come under the power of this addictive poison. What gives porn its power? And more importantly, can it be broken? 

The Main Reason Porn is So Addictive

For some, it’s hard to understand the pull of porn.

“If you don’t like it don’t look at it!”

In truth, even most people who are addicted don’t understand why they’re addicted. What is it about porn that makes it so hard to quit? The short answer is “the brain.”

Covenant Eyes educational recovery leader, Sam Black, explains the “neuro-cocktail” of chemicals in the brain that are involved when a person has sex.4 Here’s a short summary of the chemicals at work:

  • Dopamine is a chemical that sharpens your focus and gives a sense of craving. It creates the “gotta-have-it” sensation.
  • Norepinephrine creates alertness and focus. It is the brain’s version of adrenaline. It tells the brain, “Something is about to happen, and we need to get ready for it.”
  • Oxytocin and vasopressin help to lay down the long-term memories for the cells. They “bind” a person’s memories to the object that gave him or her sexual pleasure.
  • Endorphins are natural opiates that create a “high,” a wave of pleasure over the whole body.
  • After sexual release serotonin levels also change, bringing a sense of calm and relaxation.

That’s a lot going on in the brain, isn’t it? All these chemicals occur naturally when a person has sex, and the combination makes you feel GREAT. Porn activates the same chemical system. But of course, it’s not real sex. Over time, porn overloads the brain’s natural capacity for sexual enjoyment by altering brain chemistry. Eventually, it leaves the viewer unsatisfied and craving more and different genres of pornography to achieve the same level of stimulation. The chemicals at work in our brain during porn use are the biggest reason it’s so addictive. 

Neuroscientist Dr. Donald Hilton says, “[P]ornography is a triple hook, consisting of cortical hypofrontality, dopaminergic downgrading, and oxytocin/vasopressin bonding. Each of these hooks is powerful, and they are synergistic.”5

Put more simply, the mixture of these chemicals activated by porn cause three problems: brain shrinkage, cravings, and chemical bonding. Working together, they create a powerful impulse to look at porn. Let’s briefly look at each.

Brain Shrinkage (Cortical Hypofrontality)

What neuroscientists call “cortical hypofrontality” is a kind of brain shrinkage. Cambridge researcher Dr. Valerie Voon found that the brains of porn addicts look a lot like the brains of drug addicts, both displaying similar damage to the frontal lobe.6

What exactly is shrinking? Specifically, it’s the part of your brain that makes rational decisions. It’s the part of the brain that puts the brakes on things that feel good but are actually harmful.

That means the more porn you watch the harder it is to make rational decisions regarding porn. The thinking part of your brain knows that you need to do homework, but the feeling part of your brain tells you that you need porn NOW. So much for sleep. The thinking part of your brain tells you that going to porn sites at work will get you fired, but the feeling part of your brain tells you that porn is more important than your job. So much for your paycheck.

Cravings (Dopaminergic Downgrading)

Dopamine is the chemical in our brains that makes us want things. It’s important because it fuels any kind of motivation—whether for food, sex, or success. When the dopamine production system is hijacked, it can result in cravings.

In his popular TED talk, Gary Wilson explains how porn, particularly the unlimited variety of internet porn, causes unnatural surges in dopamine that overwhelm the brain. When this happens, the dopamine receptors are desensitized. The same things that used to bring pleasure are no longer satisfying—often leading to riskier and risker behaviors.

Chemical Bonding (Oxytocin/Vasopressin Bonding)

When oxytocin and vasopressin are released in sex, they create a deep biological “bond” between the partners. When someone looks at porn, these chemicals form a bond with the pixels on the screen. The more porn is viewed, the stronger the bond.

Psychologist and addiction expert Dr. William Struthers writes in his book, Wired for Intimacy:

Like a path is created in the woods with each successive hiker, so do the neural paths set the course for the next time an erotic image is viewed. Over time these neural paths become wider as they are repeatedly traveled with each exposure to pornography. They become the automatic pathway through which interactions with women are routed. The neural circuitry anchors this process solidly in the brain.7

Together, this combination of chemicals in the brain makes porn an intoxicating experience and keeps you going back for more.

(See also What is Considered Porn?)

3 More Reasons People Are So Addicted to Porn

Not everyone who looks at porn is addicted, but data indicates staggeringly high numbers of porn use:

  • 28,258 users are watching pornography every second.
  • $3,075.64 is spent on porn every second on the internet.
  • 1 in 5 mobile searches are for porn.

(See more data in Covenant Eyes Porn Stats).

What percentage of people viewing porn are addicted is difficult to determine. But trends indicate addictive/unwanted porn usage is on the rise. In addition to the intoxicating pleasure response of the brain, at least three other factors contribute to porn addiction.

1. The Triple-A Engine

Psychologist Dr. Alvin Cooper identified the “triple-A engine” of internet pornography that drives addiction. Online porn is accessible, affordable, and anonymous.8

Dr. Cooper recognized these characteristics of internet porn back in the dial-up days, years before everyone had a smartphone in their pocket with a high-speed internet connection. His triple-A engine was a hamster wheel compared to the jet-fueled porn machine we have today!

These factors make it very easy for anyone to slip into a porn-watching habit. There’s a low barrier to entry—anyone can find it, anyone can afford it, and nobody has to know about it. The triple-A engine alone could be enough to trap someone in a vicious porn cycle. But two other factors have emerged as well.

2. Early Exposure

Early exposure is one of the most significant determiners of porn addiction. Tragically, children are being exposed to porn at an early age, often before puberty when their brains are in a highly impressionable stage of development. Author and speaker John Fort writes:

The sad reality for nearly every adult who struggles with porn is that their compulsive porn use started in childhood. In the more than two decades I that have been working with hundreds of men and women trying to overcome pornography addiction, I have met only one who did not first start using pornography as a child.

Research shows 50% of men and 10% of women who are exposed to pornography as children will develop an addiction.9 One study found the average age of first exposure is eleven years old! This tells us an increasing number of people are being exposed at very young ages, setting the stage for a lifelong addiction.10 

3. Trauma

Licensed mental health counselor Jay Stringer says that people who have experienced trauma or abuse are more likely to be addicted to porn. Additionally, those who suffer from other trauma or who experience deep shame have a greater likelihood of addiction.

4. Neglect

Neglect and loneliness can likewise leave people emotionally needy and vulnerable to the false intimacy promised by porn. 

These traits do not describe every porn addict. But someone who has one or more of these characteristics is much more vulnerable to porn addiction. Not only does this help us understand the causes of porn addiction, but understanding what makes people vulnerable can be a helpful tool in the recovery process.

So, Am I Addicted To Porn?

We’ve established various reasons why porn is so addictive. The next natural questions are 1) am I addicted? and 2) what do I do about it?

To help address the first question of “Am I addicted to porn?,” sex addiction therapist Dr. Peter Kleponis gives 6 symptoms of porn addiction. Here’s the cliff notes version:

  • Feeling High. “I feel great when I use pornography.”
  • Feeling Tolerant. “A little bit of kink or violent stuff is fine.”
  • Feeling Angry. “I get upset if I can’t watch porn.”
  • Feeling Risky. “I’ll do anything to watch porn.”
  • Feeling Like a Slave. “The urge to watch porn consumes me.”
  • Feeling Helpless. “My life is out of control.”

Notice the progression. This “gotta-have-it” feeling can leave you feeling angry or depressed when you don’t get your fix. The “high” that porn brings initially tends to decrease over time. Trying to recapture the euphoric feelings of porn can lead a person to delve into more extreme kinds of porn.

It can lead people to take more and more risks, such as watching porn at work or even seeking out illegal porn. In their book The Porn Trap, sex therapists Wendy and Larry Maltz give a simplified list of three key indicators of porn addiction:

  1. Do you crave porn intensely and persistently?
  2. Do you find you can’t control your urges to look at porn, and fail when you try to stop?
  3. Do you continue looking at porn despite facing negative consequences?11

If you can relate with these feelings about porn, you’re likely dealing with an addiction. Once you recognize the problem, you can move on to the next question.

Is it actually possible to stop watching porn?

The good news is that porn addiction can be beaten. At Covenant Eyes we hear stories every day of those who overcome porn.

We’re committed to equipping people who want to quit porn with the tools and education they need for recovery. You install our app on your devices, and we send reports of your activity to a trusted friend you choose, who can help you stay on track.

We’ve also written a ton of great resources to help you on your freedom journey. I recommend starting here:

If you’re someone who’s hooked on porn, I hope you’ll take advantage of these powerful resources! Join the many who have found lasting freedom from porn.


¹Mark Laaser, Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2014) 32.

² Judith Reisman, “The Science Behind Pornography Addiction,” U.S. Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, & Transportation, November 18, 2004.

3 NoFap, “About the NoFap® Team,” accessed August 23, 2021. https://nofap.com/about/us/

Sam Black, The Porn Circuit (Owosso: Covenant Eyes, 2013). https://learn.covenanteyes.com/porn-circuit/  

5 Donald Hilton Jr., “How Pornography & Drugs Changes Your Brain,” Salvo (2010), accessed August 23, 2021. https://salvomag.com/article/salvo13/slave-master

6 Fight the New Drug, “Groundbreaking Neuroscience Study Finds Striking Similarities In Brains Of Porn And Drug Addicts,” accessed August 23, 2021.  https://fightthenewdrug.org/cambridge-neuroscientist-valerie-voon-porn-drug-addict-brain/

7 William Struthers, Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain (Downers Grove: IVP Books, 2009), 85.

Al Cooper, “Cybersex and sexual compulsivity: The dark side of the force,” Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 7:1-2 (2000): 1-3. DOI: 10.1080/10720160008400204

 Wendy and Larry Maltz, The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography, 44.

10 Robert Weiss, “The Prevalence of Porn,” PsychCentral, accessed August 23, 2021.  https://psychcentral.com/blog/sex/2013/05/the-prevalence-of-porn#1

11 The Porn Trap, 92.

  1. Concerned

    I go to porn cause wife does not want to have sex with me. It has been 15 years. I understand if she had a disease or chronic issue but she does not. I do not know what to do, so to get rid of a lot of stress this is what I do.

    I do not want to do what I do, but I am human and i Have desires that I can not understand. God gave me these desires to pro-create so how do I squelch it and never go back.

    This is one of the sins that is the most tough. I know God forgives me by his Grace, but I keep going back to it eventually. I know it has to also do with triggers during the week – what I watch or what I see without conciously thinking about it – Radio, TV, Walking in malls, Going to Movies, really anywhere I go.

    • Keith Rose

      Hello, thanks for your comments. There many possible reasons for a sexless marriage but it is usually a symptom of other issues. I would strongly encourage marriage counseling with someone that both you and your wife trust. In the meantime, porn will make a poor substitute for marital intimacy, and will only make it more difficult to connect with your wife in a meaningful way. I strongly encourage you to check out our article on the essential steps to quit porn. You can overcome this!

      Blessings,

      Keith

  2. Rose

    The article is interesting and I am glad that as many people and companies as possible pay attention to the problems with pornography. I am now divorcing my husband because he has big problems with it. And he denies it. It is impossible to convince him, even after our children have found his “collection”! It’s not normal at all. Then your article https://www.covenanteyes.com/2021/08/23/why-is-porn-so-addictive-4-reasons-its-hard-to-resist/ helped me a lot. And I don’t want to live with my husband anymore, if only he understood that he has a problem, but no. And first of all I have to take care of children, by the way this episode will be a good reason for divorce, I looked for information about this https://floridaonlinedivorce.com/how-to-divorce-in-florida/

  3. steven

    Even without using electronic devices, how do You stop imagining those images in Your mind?

    • Keith Rose

      Great question Steven! The first step is to stop bringing porn images into your mind—and be vigilant to avoid looking at things that may be triggering, or that may remind you of things you’ve seen in the past. Books, magazines, music—anything triggering needs to go. Second, it’s not enough to stop the bad stuff from coming in, you need to replace it with good and wholesome things to think on. Fill your mind with good images by engaging in healthy activities. To help with this, we’ve written an ebook called Hobbies and Habits that I think you’ll find encouraging. It’s free to download!

      Blessings,

      Keith

    • Kenny Haws

      Even though I haven’t been looking at porn for quite awhile, several months and even 7 years while in prison I still have very vivid images in my mind that still cause me problems with the desire to want to view it to this day. How does one get these images out of his/her mind???? I want to be able to have a normal life and sex life with hopefully my next lifetime partner but with the above problem I am afraid to even ask a woman for a date much less to be my lifetime partner!!!!!

    • Keith Rose

      Great question! Porn leaves a powerful impression on our brains that doesn’t go away overnight. However, you can be free of these thoughts and have your desires reshaped. Our good friend Noah Filipiak just wrote about this here. Noah talks about how God can not just help you be free from porn, but can actually reshape your desires. You see, quitting porn isn’t so much about a white-knuckled grip on sexual sobriety (“dry drunks,” to use a comparison from AA), it’s about replacing what’s bad with things that are good. This can take time, but it’s absolutely possible! We wrote an ebook called Hobbies and Habits that’s all about replacing bad habits with good habits.

      When you look at porn, the chemical release tells your brain “this is really important!” and the images are burned into your memory. Many people share the experience of images that are stuck in their heads from porn they saw years or even decades ago. You can’t just make this go away, but with time and consistent effort, you can train yourself not to go there. When these thoughts start to fill your head, start doing something else that engages your attention. If you’re a Christian, it’s good to memorize some passages of Scripture, like Romans 12:1-3 or 2 Corinthians 10:1-6. Fill your mind with other things! (not a bad idea even if you’re not!) The point is, if you’re going to get porn out of your mind, you need to put something better in there.

      The best replacements are things that involve other people—porn is something that isolates us and separates us from reality. You need to be reconnected, and that’s going to prepare you for healthy romantic relationships. I encourage you to find an ally who can help and encourage you. This is somebody you can text or call when these images start coming into your mind. It’s really the same thing as fighting against porn addiction—you’re just further along in the fight than most.

      Blessings,

      Keith

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related in Defeat Lust & Pornography

Editor's Picks

A teenage girl standing apart from a group of friends.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

I Was a 12-Year-Old Girl Addicted To Porn

All the assumptions that pornography was a boy’s struggle completely dismissed me,…

2 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

Woman habitually looking at her phone.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

Porn Habit vs. Porn Addiction: Is There a Difference?

What’s the difference between being addicted to porn and merely having a…

6 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A teenage girl using a computer.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

Is Something Wrong With Me?: A Woman’s Struggle With Porn

Sin has taken the form of nude images, explicit magazines, TV shows,…

4 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

Woman reading the Bible with her cup of coffee.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

How to Overcome Porn Addiction According to the Bible

The Bible clearly tells us what we should and shouldn’t do. It…

5 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A young woman singing with a microphone in church.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

I Was the “Perfect” Christian Girl and Addicted to Porn

I was introduced to pornography toward the end of elementary school. As…

3 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A teenage girl alone at night with her phone.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

I Thought I Was the Only Girl to Ever Struggle With This

The struggles I have had with pornography have been long and hard.…

3 minute read

Read Post

Related in Defeat Lust & Pornography

A teenage girl standing apart from a group of friends.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

I Was a 12-Year-Old Girl Addicted To Porn

All the assumptions that pornography was a boy’s struggle completely dismissed me,…

All the assumptions that pornography was a boy’s struggle completely dismissed me, a twelve-year-old girl addicted to porn. I was part of a large percentage of teens using pornography, and while so many of us…

2 minute read

0 comments

Woman habitually looking at her phone.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

Porn Habit vs. Porn Addiction: Is There a Difference?

What’s the difference between being addicted to porn and merely having a…

What’s the difference between being addicted to porn and merely having a porn habit? Habits are behaviors that have become automatic over time. Addiction involves a deeper change in your neurochemistry. Habits might be changed…

6 minute read

0 comments

A teenage girl using a computer.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

Is Something Wrong With Me?: A Woman’s Struggle With Porn

Sin has taken the form of nude images, explicit magazines, TV shows,…

Sin has taken the form of nude images, explicit magazines, TV shows, R-rated movies, sexual assault, and little minds being exposed to perversion at a young age. Whether the calendar reads 1932 or 2024, both…

4 minute read

0 comments

Woman reading the Bible with her cup of coffee.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

How to Overcome Porn Addiction According to the Bible

The Bible clearly tells us what we should and shouldn’t do. It…

The Bible clearly tells us what we should and shouldn’t do. It tells us that watching pornography is a sin and something Christians should strive to avoid.  But what if you are addicted to pornography? Suppose…

5 minute read

0 comments

A young woman singing with a microphone in church.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

I Was the “Perfect” Christian Girl and Addicted to Porn

I was introduced to pornography toward the end of elementary school. As…

I was introduced to pornography toward the end of elementary school. As a young Christian girl who had never imagined, seen or heard about such things, this exposure planted a seed in my mind that…

3 minute read

0 comments

A teenage girl alone at night with her phone.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

I Thought I Was the Only Girl to Ever Struggle With This

The struggles I have had with pornography have been long and hard.…

The struggles I have had with pornography have been long and hard. It is a road that I have traveled since I was a young girl and something that has filled my life with so…

3 minute read

0 comments