- Tuesday, March 9th, 2010
- Written By Guest Author
- Categories: Member Testimonies, Wives of Porn Addicts Back to Blog Home
The Power of Prayer Over Pornography
I found out about my husband’s battle with sexual temptation in June 2005, when I found images he had been looking at on our Internet history. It broke my heart and shattered my world. I will never forget the physical pain in my heart, and the emotional torture of those first few days, weeks, months, and even years. But it was in those times that I learned just how true Romans 8:28 is: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Before we were married (in November 2002), I knew that my husband had had some trouble with pornography, but understood it to be a thing of the past. Little did I know then about the intensely addictive nature of porn, and how hard it is for a man to give up.
In the weeks leading up to the discovery of my husband’s sin, I had been working my way through the book The Power of a Praying Wife (by Stormie Omartian). This is a wonderful book, and it had me praying specifically for my husband in a number of ways, much more than I had before. In particular, I had been praying that my husband would be delivered from any temptations which Satan may be throwing at him. At this time I had no idea just what that prayer would do.
When his sin was brought into the light, I had a choice: to forgive my husband and work forward together, or to end the relationship. Praise be to God that I chose the former! Through the forgiveness and second chances offered him, my husband surrendered himself totally to God, broke his addiction with almost immediate effect, and took hold of a wonderful new life. And I saw that out of the terribly bad, God brought wonderful goodness.
My husband and I are now passionate about helping others to be delivered from this sin and pain, and take hold of the new lives God wants to give them. My husband runs a weekly accountability group for men in our Church, and is writing a book on how to resist temptation and achieve sexual purity through the power of God.
Knowing how great a role the Internet plays in providing temptation to sexual sin, I decided to create a range of ‘Sexual Purity’ mouse pads in my online Christian store. Each mouse pad is designed specifically to help men (or women) stay pure when faced with sexual temptation online, and because a mouse pad stays next to a computer, it is right there where you need it most. I pray that these will be effective in helping people stay away from sin on the Internet, and to stay sexually pure.
God truly is good. My husband and I are living proof that with HIS strength, temptation can be overcome; with HIM terrible situations can be worked out for good.
. . . .
This article is by 
Quite a collection of bold products you’ve come up with Miss Morgan! You may very well have a new customer here in the near future :) Thanks for sharing your story with us!
Thank you for your encouragement, Justin! God bless you :)
Dear Mrs Morgan
Thanks for sharing! I have the same story to tell, very similar actually. This summer in June it’s 2 years since my husband confessed for me that he was addicted to pornography, after 6 years of marriage. Even though I felt betrayed and lost, in some strange way God prepared me a few weeks before and we both were relieved (especially my husband). From that day the chain broke and he was set free! God’s grace is amazing, and I was able to forgive. Our marriage went from strong to extremely strong. Romans 8:28 is spot on!
We just ordered a couple of books on the subject to really work it through before we tell others. When we do we want to be prepared and I know God wants to use us for His purposes in this matter. We think it’s “pay-back-time” for all the stolen years of sin, condemnation, shame and impurity.
If my husband could be addicted anyone can. I think there’s a lot of guys out there suffering from this addiction. If more couples are willing to talk about it, it must make things easier for the once that suffer to confess.
Thanks again and God bless you and your husband!
It was wonderfully encouraging to read your story too, Elin!
Thank you for taking the time to comment :)
I suffer and have for years with pornography and sexual addiction. It is difficult for many to understand, but your faith and your prayer for your husbands will help to break him free of the chains that bind us (men) when it comes to sexual addition. I’ve come back to God knowing that it’s the only way that I can break free through his love. Bless you and your husband – you are stronger together in Christ.
Hi Michael,
Thank you for your message. I totally agree with all you said, especially about the idea that God’s love is the only way to break free – my husband says a similar thing.
I will be praying for you to stay strong in Christ, as you continue to experience His love and grace.
God bless you!
my husband has a addiction to porn and cant stop!!!!! he says he wants to but dont happen… Iam to a point i dont know what to do.. i have a blocker on line and he finds other things to do to get around it… i feel so use less and unwanted… I wish he would just stop doing …. any one out there can help me…
@melissa – Thanks for your comment. First, let me say how sorry I am that you have experienced so much heart-ache over this. I know how devastating pornography can be to a marriage, especially when a husband is seemingly unrepentant.
Porn-blockers on computers can be a great thing, but only for the people who want to use them. For others they become an obstacle to defeat.
I commend to you a series of posts written on our blog by Mark W. Gaither. His insights into this situation might be helpful. I recommend reading through all of them to get the full flavor of his advice:
1. Is Porn the Same As Adultery?
2. What’s Wrong with a Little Porn?
3. Living with an Unrepentant, Porn-Abusing Husband: Advice to Weary Wives
4. When Love Has to Get Tough
Melissa,
What a heartbreaking situation! Aside from the posts Luke has directed you to, I also recommend reading ‘Every Heart Restored’ by Stephen Arterburn and Fred & Brenda Stoeker.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13
You and your husband will be in my prayers.
Dene
I will be reading thru the posts left by Luke and hope to get to the book that Dene recommended as well. Thank you for posting such clear places to look for help.
I don’t feel ready to go into our whole story yet, but my husband has been looking at porn online for quite sometime. I have run across the blocker and filter issue to, when I asked him if I should set them up after he told me the first time. He said, I can just get around those, there’s no point.
It was my undestanding that the issue had stopped. Guess I was wrong. Now he tells me that he’s been “clean” for a long time, 3/4 weeks.
My head is going “you call that a long time!?!?!” How long has this been going on behind my back!?!?! How many computer viruses and crashes were due to this issue, tho I asked and he denied it? Is the husband I love really lieing to my face?! How serious is this!?!? I felt so helpless. If filters don’t work, what will?
I am still considering changing all passwords and setting up his own account with many restrictions. I just don’t want to take his authority away, or show him disrespect. I don’t really know what steps it is ok for me to take at this point? What can I do that will actually impact him favorably, not turn him off of my good ideas?
You’re article was a good reminder that one thing I can do is PRAY. He can’t respond poorly to my personal prayers to the Lord. And God can do all things! My husband is an amazing man in so many ways and I adore him. I am willing to forgive him. I just want to make sure we confront the problem and not let it get worse in the background.
Thank you for writing and for helping others.
One parting question: My husband and I pray together, would it be wrong of me to pray about this in front of him? Would that go over bad? Not in a planned way, just in opening my heart to the Lord.
In Christ,
Confused Wife
Sioned,
I’m so glad you found my story to be of some help to you. I know that I myself often need reminding to pray over situations, and I know that if you commit to doing this that God will work in your life to make all things work out for your good – however that pans out.
Regarding your parting question – I would say the answer depends on your relationship with your husband and how he currently feels about his addiction. My tendency would be to say that it would NOT be wrong of you pray about it in front of him. I can see a number of benefits to this:
1) He doesn’t just ‘know’ you are praying for him because you say you are – he hears you talking to God, interceding on his behalf, supporting him in this spiritual battle.
2) He gets a clearer view of how important this is to you, and how important you feel it is to God.
3) He gets a greater understanding of the pain you feel.
Number 3 is where I think you need to make some specific judgments concerning your husband’s stage of recovery/sin. If he is already feeling very burdened by guilt, adding to that may have the opposite effect to what you would want. He may become so stressed that temptation becomes harder for him to resist. If, however, he is not being born down by guilt then I think (and remember this is just my opinion) that a clear understanding of how much this hurts you is a very good thing for a man to get. The more he realises how much pain he causes – not just to himself but to those he loves too – the more motivation he has to stop the sin.
I hope that this has been of more help to you. If there is anything else I can do or say, please feel free to send me a message.
I will be praying for you.
In our LORD and SAVIOUR,
Dene
Sioned,
I wholeheartedly concur with Dene. Very wise advice.
I would like to comment this portion of your comments:
“I am still considering changing all passwords and setting up his own account with many restrictions. I just don’t want to take his authority away, or show him disrespect. I don’t really know what steps it is ok for me to take at this point? What can I do that will actually impact him favorably, not turn him off of my good ideas?”
Unfortunately, nothing external will change your husband internally. External restrictions only help a men (and women) who hate their sin. Right now, he loves his sin and continues to seek gratification outside the Lord’s provision. Until he WANTS to reject porn, he will always find a way to keep it in his life.
You cannot choose repentance–genuine repentance, not just “I’m sorry, I’ll change”–for him. You cannot maneuver or compel his repentance. There is no magic phrase or sure-fire strategy or miracle action that will suddenly get through to your husband. If you’re probing his mind for a switch that will suddenly turn the the lights on for him, you will not find it.
Your best and only responsibility in this–as his partner and help-meet–is prayer and tough love. Mixed well and applied in large doses.
In following your posts, it appears you’re on the right track. You’re putting all the pieces of the puzzle together. Soon you will be convinced–really convinced–that this is your husband’s problem to solve, not yours.
May the Holy Spirit give you supernatural wisdom and superhuman strength as you stand up for what is right.
I just wanted to thank you all for the overwhelming help and support you have provided. I received no less than 5 personal emails thru my posts on this website and it helped me to feel loved in the body of Christ, and yes to know that people are willing to reach out.
I was being emotionally strangled by this issue and the fact that I had not addressed it with my husband. With as much love as possible and no loud voices, though I confess, there were some tears – I finally gained strength enough to approach my husband.
It was so helpful to have used this site first. Having read articles already, I had ideas and terminology already in my head that came out easily in the discussion.
My husband’s first responses were all of the reasons that I have contributed to the problem. I quietly but matter of factly asked him if he saw this is a sin, he said absolutely. In my head “Score! 1 in the right direction. :)” Next question, do you feel I should be held accountable for your sin? I don’t think he was expecting something so rational and direct and as such there was no time for him to say anything but the truth. His answer was “No, not at all.” Once again, Score!!!
I know this isn’t fixed – boy do I know. But I wanted to show you all of specific examples of how your writings helped me start towards a better future. I would never have thought of these words because I don’t think well in the spur of the moment.
I look forward to praying with my husband on this issue and discussing it further with him. I will keep sharing our progress.
God bless you all for reaching out from a very difficult place.
In Christ,
Sioned
Sioned,
What wonderful news! I’m so glad you found the strength you needed, and that progress has been made on the road to your husband’s recovery. Well done for being able to keep as calm as possible.
God bless you both richly as you move towards the wonderful new life God is desperate to give you!
Dene :)
Hello Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
Please pray for me and my friends, tomorrow we will be holding a prayer rally in front of the eXXXotica Expo in Miami Beach. We will do our best to transmit God’s love to all of HIS children entangled in the snares of pornography. Glory be to God in the Highest!
Thank you for your encouragement.
ive been searching the net for something that i can be of use to resist temptation of being hooked with pornography. thank you for making a mouse pad like this!…
since i almost carry my notebook with me i seldom use a mouse pad… id rather use this as a background…
God bless us all