As men, we carry our pride like a badge of honor. We use it for a shield against anything that might threaten our self-esteem. We hide behind it when other people attempt to offer suggestions which, if followed, would require us to change our course in life. We know better than anyone else what is best for ourselves. After all, we managed to bring ourselves to the place in life in which we stand. And we will do a fine job of going on to the next step.
Therein lies one of the greatest problems that men who are addicted to pornography face. Because they believe that they know what is best for them, and because they do not want anyone violating their manhood by telling them what to do, they continue blindly down the same road of destruction that brought them to the place where they live. That place may be one where, because of his pornography addiction, his marriage has fallen apart, his financial situation has deteriorated, and worst of all, his spiritual relationship has all but disappeared.
You cannot fight this battle alone
It is crucial that men come to the understanding that they cannot fight this battle alone. Perhaps you are one who considers himself to be a “self-made man,” one who has fought his way up the corporate ladder—only to find that you were the only one there when you reached the top.
If you are a pornography addict, you should consider that, by yourself, you managed to crawl all the way to where you reside. In the world of pornography use and addiction, the ladder goes down, not up. It goes straight down into a pit that has the ability to totally consume any one of us.
Accountability is not a last resort, it’s a lifestyle
Accountability is often discounted as nothing more than a crutch, a place to hide one’s own inadequacies. Objections to accountability are usually rooted in pride—that same pride that says you don’t need help. God takes a different view, though.
“As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend” (Proverbs 27:17 NKJV).
“Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:11-12 NKJV).
Are you man enough for accountability?
Admitting the need for accountability is not surrendering your manliness.
Accountability is not the sign of a weak person.
Accountability is not a crutch that might allow one to think he can walk without assistance when in fact, he can’t.
Instead, accountability is the sign of a man who is big enough to admit that he cannot do everything. Accountability is one of the most powerful weapons we have in the battle against pornography addiction. The use of that weapon allows us to admit to our friend (our accountability partner) that we have come against something that, at least for a moment, was more powerful than we were. It allows us to admit that we need help to fight that enemy, but in a way that brings no reproach. Ultimately, it provides support in a battle that simply cannot be fought alone.
An accountable person . . .
1. Is not afraid to be vulnerable.
2. Gladly accepts the availability of such helps as a filtered ISP.
3. Can recognize and admit when he has fallen.
4. Picks himself back up after a fall.
5. Is not afraid of tough questions.
Yours in Christ,
Man on the Road